The St. Louis Cardinals have spent most of the season flying below the radar. Then suddenly, BAM, they're in the playoffs. Since you wrote them off at the All-Star break it is therefore understandable if you've forgotten who's who or why we should care about particular players. So, to reacquaint yourself with the team, I've compiled this handy-dandy bare-bones Cardinals roster guide.
Today we will start with the coaches.
This is Tony La Russa. He's the manager. (Some people call managers "skippers." Those people are dumb.) Tony is known as a strategist. He will do silly things with his batting lineup, pull-and-push pitchers in-and-out of the game like yo-yos, and generally make you think he is suffering from advanced senility. But his team is in the playoffs now, so the joke is on you.
Other fun Tony facts:
- He really likes animals. He likes animals more than he likes most people.
- He missed a few games this season after coming down with a morbid case of face shingles.
- His post-game interviews are quite amusing, especially after a rough game. The Cardinals had a lot of rough games this year.
This is Dave Duncan. He is the Cardinals' pitching coach. He has been teaching pitchers how to pitch since forever ago. He is unnaturally good at it and can take virtually any old awful pitcher and shape them into something considerably less awful. (See Bob Welch and his 27 wins in 1990.) He has been Tony's right-hand man since the 1980's, and they will both probably be buried in the same casket together.
This is Mark McGwire. He is the hitting coach. As a player he once held the single-season home-run record. After he retired he became a steroid scapegoat, taking all the blame for the pervasiveness of "enhanced" play in baseball. As a result he brings a lot of baggage to the team, and nobody is really convinced that his hitting advice extends beyond saying "Just hit some dingers and you'll be fine," but they love him in St. Louis so it doesn't really matter.
This is Dave McKay. He is the first base coach. The first base coach is quite possibly the easiest on-field gig in baseball. He reminds his base runner to pay attention to the signs, and if the base runner forgets the signs then McKay just makes something up for him. McKay has been with La Russa since the mid-80s, doing whatever imperative coaching duties Tony lets him do. McKay is also Canadian, for whatever that's worth.
These four people, you might notice, were with each other in the Oakland Athletics' organization in the late-80s and early-90s, as well as the Cardinals' organization in the late-90s and, well, today. They all went to the World Series together in 1989. I'm sure it was fun, except for that whole earthquake thing.
Other Coaches
This is Jose Oquendo. Despite what his profile picture might imply, he does not eat children. He does coach third base where he waves his faster players to home plate, holds his slower players to third base, and yells at Yadier to just stay at first base for a while. Oquendo's claim to fame is that he played every position in 1988, including pitcher and catcher, and that is completely insane. La Russa did not manage that team, but I'm sure he wanted to.
This is Joe Pettini. He is the bench coach. I don't have any good idea as to what he actually does. Dave Duncan is usually the backup manager when Tony gets ejected, but I suppose it would be Pettini's time to shine if Duncan also gets ejected. I don't know that I've actually ever seen this man before.
This is Derek Lilliquist. He is the bullpen coach. When that bullpen phone rings, he freaking answers it. Then he says, "YOU there, start warming up," or "YOU there, sit back down." Sometimes he will even say, "YOU there, Tony wants you to pitch to two batters, then hit the showers."
Today we will start with the coaches.
This is Tony La Russa. He's the manager. (Some people call managers "skippers." Those people are dumb.) Tony is known as a strategist. He will do silly things with his batting lineup, pull-and-push pitchers in-and-out of the game like yo-yos, and generally make you think he is suffering from advanced senility. But his team is in the playoffs now, so the joke is on you.
Other fun Tony facts:
- He really likes animals. He likes animals more than he likes most people.
- He missed a few games this season after coming down with a morbid case of face shingles.
- His post-game interviews are quite amusing, especially after a rough game. The Cardinals had a lot of rough games this year.
This is Dave Duncan. He is the Cardinals' pitching coach. He has been teaching pitchers how to pitch since forever ago. He is unnaturally good at it and can take virtually any old awful pitcher and shape them into something considerably less awful. (See Bob Welch and his 27 wins in 1990.) He has been Tony's right-hand man since the 1980's, and they will both probably be buried in the same casket together.
This is Mark McGwire. He is the hitting coach. As a player he once held the single-season home-run record. After he retired he became a steroid scapegoat, taking all the blame for the pervasiveness of "enhanced" play in baseball. As a result he brings a lot of baggage to the team, and nobody is really convinced that his hitting advice extends beyond saying "Just hit some dingers and you'll be fine," but they love him in St. Louis so it doesn't really matter.
This is Dave McKay. He is the first base coach. The first base coach is quite possibly the easiest on-field gig in baseball. He reminds his base runner to pay attention to the signs, and if the base runner forgets the signs then McKay just makes something up for him. McKay has been with La Russa since the mid-80s, doing whatever imperative coaching duties Tony lets him do. McKay is also Canadian, for whatever that's worth.
These four people, you might notice, were with each other in the Oakland Athletics' organization in the late-80s and early-90s, as well as the Cardinals' organization in the late-90s and, well, today. They all went to the World Series together in 1989. I'm sure it was fun, except for that whole earthquake thing.
Other Coaches
This is Jose Oquendo. Despite what his profile picture might imply, he does not eat children. He does coach third base where he waves his faster players to home plate, holds his slower players to third base, and yells at Yadier to just stay at first base for a while. Oquendo's claim to fame is that he played every position in 1988, including pitcher and catcher, and that is completely insane. La Russa did not manage that team, but I'm sure he wanted to.
This is Joe Pettini. He is the bench coach. I don't have any good idea as to what he actually does. Dave Duncan is usually the backup manager when Tony gets ejected, but I suppose it would be Pettini's time to shine if Duncan also gets ejected. I don't know that I've actually ever seen this man before.
This is Derek Lilliquist. He is the bullpen coach. When that bullpen phone rings, he freaking answers it. Then he says, "YOU there, start warming up," or "YOU there, sit back down." Sometimes he will even say, "YOU there, Tony wants you to pitch to two batters, then hit the showers."
