Cutting It Close With The Cardinals

It's September 2nd. Only 24 (or so) more games left for each team, only 26 (or so) more days of regular season baseball remain. Playoff participants will be decided sooner than that.

Here's what the NL Central looks like:

	W	L	GB
CHC	85	53	---
MIL	80	57	4.5
STL	74	64	11.0
HOU	72	66	13.0
CIN	61	76	23.5
PIT	57	79	27.0

For most of the season the Birds have been right at the Cubs' heels. But recently it seems like whenever the Cardinals win, the Cubs win and no ground is gained. Then the Cards lose... and the Cubs continue to win. St. Louis was only two games back as recently as July 22nd, but since then the gap has grown wider. Now the team trails by 11 games and a division title is all but lost.

Of course there's always the Wild Card, but if the Cardinals continue to drop consecutive games (they lost their 4th straight last night... they had a five game losing streak in July) then they'll lose out to the Brewers, Mets, or Phillies. I've remained hopeful (but realistic) this entire season, and if the Cardinals make it into the playoffs it'll be close.

There's the 2006 season to draw inspiration from when, as you'll recall, the Redbirds made it into the postseason having won only 83 games and closed the year by defeating the Tigers in the World Series. Conditions favored the Cardinals that year (the NL Central was lousy and only the Mets provided any sort of competitive challenge), but it was enough to demonstrate that all teams start at 0-0 in the postseason, and anything could happen afterwards.

St. Louis really should be doing better at this point, but they can't seem to defeat the teams that matter. They're 37-24 against teams from the other two divisions, but 30-32 against their NL Central neighbors. The Cubs and Brewers on the other hand are 38-24 and 39-25, respectively. The Birds have also lost a lot of extra-inning games -- a Major League leading 10 -- and are 21-23 in 1-run games. All those winning opportunities, lost (so to speak).

But if the Mets are able to take late-season dives, and if the Cubs are famous for them, then so too can the Cardinals take a... what's the opposite of "dive"? And until St. Louis is mathematically eliminated I will remain hopeful and look forward to another postseason appearance.

Google Custom Search

You may have noticed the Google Custom Search thing to the right. You may have wondered if it was different than any other kind of search, Google or otherwise. Here's the scoop:

If you're anything like me you'll be reading an article and come across something that you want to know more about, either to fact check or for mere curiosity's sake. Let's say you're halfway through one of my posts and suddenly you want to look up information for, I don't know, Ron Karkovice. Pop 'er in the custom search and it'll open up a new window (so you won't lose your place in the original post) full of legit search results. "Ron Karkovice" yields results from Baseball-Reference.com and Wikipedia and all those good relevant sites.

But say you want information on pitcher Matt Smith. Holy cow, there must be a zillion different Matt Smiths populating the internet! Put him in the search anyway. Pow... Wikipedia, MLB.com, The Baseball Cube, etc. The search has been tweaked to yield baseball-pertinent results.

Type in "pants" and you'll get BASEBALL pants. Smooth, eh?

Play around with it, use it as a research tool, do whatever.

That's Mean: Fun With Regressions

I just noticed something, though this has probably been common knowledge for months. At press time (my living room doubles as a high-volume press room for daily periodicals, don't you know) the Texas Rangers have the best run support in the AL, averaging 5.63 runs per game. But they have the worst pitching/defense, allowing 5.91 runs per game and committing 100 errors so far (leading the league in both categories). They're currently four games above .500 and trailing the Los Angeles Angels by 11.5 games, good for second in the AL West. Bill James' Pythagorean expectation formula, which describes how "lucky" a team is, puts the Rangers six games under .500 and in theoretical third place. They've gotten some good breaks, but if we're to believe in "regression to the mean" then the Rangers will slide a bit before the season ends.

As I type this the Rangers are tied with the Yankees 5-5 in the 9th inning. I predict the Rangers will end up losing to the Yanks by a score of 5.63 to 5.91.

Interestingly, despite leading the Majors in errors, Texas also lead the Majors in turned double plays. The only explanation for this I can come up with is that the team's pitchers must be putting lots of men on base and lots of balls in play (many of which happen to end up as tailor-made double play grounders).

What does all this mean? I don't know, just weird statistical anomalies I noticed.

In fact I was looking up information on how "unlucky" Blue Jays' pitcher Roy Halladay has been this season. During tonight's game against the Athletics (see the post date) things were going his way as he allowed only one run while the Jays put up six. But in Halladay's previous start he limited the Rays to only three runs, while the Jays supported him with... zero. In fact, seven times this season Halladay has allowed four runs or less and came away with a loss or no-decision.

Here's a telling stat. The Blue Jays' bats produce 4.28 runs per game (discounting tonight's game, which would actually bump it up to 4.33). When Halladay starts the team only gives him 3.79 runs per nine innings (again, discounting tonights game which, if my math is correct, would bump his support up to 4.01 runs per nine innings).

With an ERA now at 2.77 he's going to get a lot of wins, but he's also going to get a lot of undeserved losses, and his 13-8 won-loss record reflects that. I don't know how to Pythagorize a pitcher's record, but Halladay has the third-best ERA in the AL, second-best WHIP, second-best K-to-BB ratio, second-most strikeouts, tied for most shut-outs, and has the most complete games (by far). Somebody appearing at the top of those rankings should have more than 13 wins to his credit by this point. He definitely shouldn't have eight losses. But I suppose that's what happens when you pitch for a team fighting with Baltimore for last place.

And, as far as Cy Young Awards go, this may come back to hurt Halladay. Wins and losses, as we've just proved, are meaningless when it comes to a pitcher's talent. Obviously a good pitcher is more apt to win games, but it ultimately depends on his team's offense. Many voting members of the BWAA still think that a won-loss record is a good reflection of a pitcher's abilities. If Halladay ends up with a respectable 18-12 record, he's going to lose out to Cliff Lee who'll probably go 20-4. (It should be noted, however, that in many of Halladay's "second-best" stats Lee is the one in front of him, and if Lee does win the Cy Young Award then he probably does deserve it).

Pythagorasly speaking, Toronto has been "unlucky," especially while Roy Halladay has been on the mound. Expect the Blue Jays to perform better the remainder of the season (more a law-of-averages type thing, less a Cito Gaston type thing), and expect Halladay, if he continues to do his part, to have fewer losses and no-decisions.

Texas won, by the way, beating New York 9-5. So much for regressions.

Go For Gold, But Make It Quick

I caught this a couple days ago. There'll be rule changes with regards to extra-innings Olympic baseball. Apparently baseball is too slow for Olympic standards of sport, and officials aren't crazy about the concept of baseball games capable of continuing forever. What's the silliest, most T-ball way to end an extra-inning baseball game? The IOC came up with these adjustments.

1) From the 11th inning on, teams are allowed to put a runner on first and second base prior to the first pitch.
2) In the 11th inning, teams can start the inning from any point of their batting lineup.

So, come the 11th, I could put my 1-spot hitter on second base, my #2 guy on first, and bring to bat my #3 slugger. Or I could put the 9-spot hitter on second, put the #1 guy on first, and bring to bat my #2 hitter.

At least they're not deciding tie games with a home-run derby.

I suppose I can understand why they'd want to speed up long games. Baseball, as far as I can tell, is the longest Olympic sport. It doesn't take runners three hours to finish a marathon. It doesn't take soccer players three hours to complete a match. It doesn't take sprinters three hours to run the 100m dash. If a baseball game were to go long it could seriously interfere with scheduling, and that could interfere with athletes getting to and from where they need to be, and that could interfere with performance. There's also TV scheduling, which is probably a more important factor in the eyes of those who run the Games.

But on the other hand I don't really care about all that. It'd be nice if everything were to follow the schedules exactly, but if that can't happen then just deal with it. Athletes can wait another hour (or two or three) for the ball game to finish before playing theirs. TV-wise, water polo coverage can wait. It's all pre-recorded anyway for North American viewers, isn't it?

There's also the issue of who gets credited with what stats. When the instant runner on second base comes around to score the winning run the pitcher will get credited with the loss, but will the run be attributed to him? He wasn't responsible for the runners on first and second, but they weren't put there by errors or anything. Unearned? Runner reaches second via IOC ruling? Ghost runner on first? What do you do with your scorecard?

This is the last year for Olympic baseball, at least for a while. It's goofy things like this that'll prevent me from missing it too much. It's the lack of big names, too. Big League teams won't let their star players miss a handful of games to play in the Olympics, and that's completely understandable. The Nippon Professional Baseball league allows their players to join the Japanese National Team, but it's not quite the same, especially when they're playing American minor-league players. By the way, do you know how the Nippon league gets around the issue of too-long baseball? Calling a tie after the 12th inning. It's far more sensible than magically adding base runners.

Will I watch Olympic baseball? If it's being broadcast I will.
Will I root for the Americans? Absolutely. Go, guys I've never heard of!

As an aside, check out the roster for the Canadian National Baseball team. Rheal Cormier... still around? Stubby Clapp, coming out of retirement? Chris Reitsma, who hasn't played a game since March? It should be interesting.

Statistical Foray: World Series Hitting Streaks

I recently acquired a children's book (I read at a third grade level) about the life of Roberto Clemente. At the end of the book is a picture of his Hall of Fame plaque. There were the career highlights and such, but one piece of information caught my eye.

"BATTED .362 IN TWO WORLD SERIES, HITTING IN ALL 14 GAMES."

Every single World Series game Clemente played in he got at least one hit. That's outstanding. But is it the record? Are there longer World Series hitting streaks?

Initially I didn't think there'd be any easy way to do the research. But fortunately for me Baseball-Reference.com has opened up their Play Index to non-subscribers until the 19th of July. What this means is I am very nearly able to look up everything that ever happened ever.

Just go to the batting streak finder,
click "Postseason,"
click the "Series/Game" drop down menu to read WS (any game),
click "Consecutive Hs" on the far right,
click "Get Results,"
then get results.

Yankee outfielder Hank Bauer holds the record with 17 consecutive World Series games with at least one hit. Very impressive. With the Yankees during their decade of dominance, Bauer played in far more than 17 games. In fact he played in 53 World Series games, and accruing a hit in each of those contests would have been an unfathomable feat (though if we're talking streaks of 50+ games I can think of one person who was probably capable of doing it).

Bauer hadn't fared so well at the plate prior to his hitting streak. In his World Series appearances from 1949 to 1955 (32 games) he batted .202, had an on-base percentage of .265, and a slugging percentage of only .245. Zero home runs, zero doubles (though two triples to his credit). He was even caught stealing in his only two attempts. But from Game 1 of the '56 Series to Game 3 of the '58 Series he was a monster. Seventeen games, 24 hits, .316 batting average, .605 slugging percentage, six homers, two doubles, and a triple. And this time he was 1-for-1 in stolen base attempts. Go Hank!

But despite this sudden burst of hitting his strikeouts-per-at-bat ratio went way up.
First 32 games: 9 strikeouts in 94 at-bats.
Next 17 games: 13 strikeouts in 76 at-bats.
I get the feeling Casey Stengel told Bauer to just go up there and hit the ball real hard.

Bauer went 0-for-4 in Game 4 of the '58 Series to end the streak, but singled in Game 5 and homered in Game 6.


Next on the list with the second-longest World Series hitting streak is... Marquis Grissom?
Grissom was an average hitter but was a consistently awesome hitter during the World Series. Hit managed hits in his first 15 World Series games, ultimately hitting safely in 17 of 19 (and reached base safely in all but his final World Series game). During his 15 game hitting streak he hit an astounding .452, had an OBP of .500, hit 4 doubles, a triple, and stole 4 bases. He didn't hit any home runs, but he came around to score 11 times anyway (add that to his 8 RBIs and he played a part in 19 runs scored).


Third is another great Yankee, Derek Jeter. As an active player I suppose he still has an opportunity to break Bauer's record, but it seems less and less likely with each passing season.

From Game 6 of the 1996 World Series to Game 5 of the 2000 World Series Jeter hit in 14 consecutive games, same as Clemente. Jeter's 14 games were very similar to Clemente's 14 games with a few key exceptions.
Similarities:

- Jeter, 60 at-bats. Clemente, 58 at-bats.
- Jeter, 22 hits. Clemente, 21 hits.
- Jeter, .367 batting average. Clemente, .362 batting average.
- Jeter, 3 doubles, 2 homers, 1 triple. Clemente, 2 doubles, 2 homers, 1 triple.
Differences:
- Jeter, 4 steals. Clemente, 0 steals (though stolen bases are inconsequential to hitting stats).
- Jeter, 7 walks. Clemente, 2 walks.
- Jeter, 15 (!) strikeouts. Clemente, 6 strikeouts.
- Jeter, 15 (!) runs. Clemente, 4 runs.

Unlike Clemente, Jeter did not get a hit in every World Series game he played in (though a hit in 26 out of 32 games is still very good). And since nobody besides all the players we just mentioned have hit in 14 consecutive World Series games, Clemente holds the record for most World Series games with a hit where that same player had zero World Series games without a hit. It sounds wordy, but you know what I mean. Clemente got a hit in every World Series game he played, and he's the only one to do it with 14 games.

Who has the next longest streak for hits in all his World Series games? Riggs Stephenson who, for the Cubs in the 1929 and 1932 World Series, played in 9 games, hit .378, had 7 RBIs, and slapped 12 singles and 2 doubles. But despite his best efforts the Cubs lost 8 of those 9 games.

Who's the highest active player who's had a hit in all of his World Series games? Garret Anderson with seven. They were all accumulated during the 2002 World Series. If Anderson were to find himself in another seven-game series he'd have a shot at Clemente's mark. It's unlikely but possible.

As always mentioned during any discussion concerning Roberto Clemente, there's no telling what he could have accomplished given a few more years to do so. The Pirates fell to the Reds in the 1972 NLCS (where Clemente played his last games), and perhaps he could have given them the three wins they needed in 1973 to reach the playoffs again. Always a great hitter and outstanding fielder, he might've had enough left in the tank to advance the Pirates to the World Series in 1974 and 1975 (where they fell to the Dodgers and Reds, respectively, in the NLCSs). Tragically he was never given the chance to advance his World Series hitting streak or build upon his other great achievements. But there is no question that he seized the opportunities he was given and left a unique mark upon baseball.

Yankee Stadium + Toronto @ New York, June 5th, 2008

I originally intended to post this earlier in June, but I suddenly got swamped and extracurricular activity dwindled to zero. But I was so struck with Yankee Stadium and the aura that surrounds it that I knew eventually I had to get my thoughts down on paper... er, computer monitor. So, as my June 5th, 2008, visit to Yankee Stadium still freshly lingers in my mind, here is the account and impressions of my visit.

My wife and I went to New York City for a couple of days during the first week of June. There was Times Square and Greenwich Village and all that, but we were mostly there for Yankee Stadium.

Yankee Stadium, the one Ruth built, will be demolished following the '08 season. Initially I was saddened to hear this, but the more I thought about it and the more I considered the make-up of the new stadium the more I felt that this wasn't such a bad thing after all. A lot of the original old timeyness was chucked out the door during the renovations of the 1970s, and the most historical part of Yankee Stadium, Memorial Park, will be transplanted to the new stadium. They're bringing back the frilly frieze and field dimensions will remain unchanged. Also, and there's no way I could have known this without visiting the stadium itself, the inside of Yankee Stadium (all that area between the gates and the field) is cramped and dank. New Yankee Stadium will feature a "Great Hall" and ample walking room. When you're mashed up against thousands of sweaty New Yorkers you'll take all the breathing room you can get.

And honestly, when it comes down to it, it's just concrete, right? The house isn't as important as those who live within it, and the game itself isn't going to change.

My biggest gripe against the new stadium is that its seating capacity will be 6,000 fewer than the current one. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Obviously with fewer seats there will be higher demand for tickets, thus tickets prices will be high. But with a new stadium (especially a new Yankee Stadium) every seat will sell regardless of the price, be there 50,000 or 70,000. Additionally the rise of ticket costs will likely prevent a lot of Joe Sportsfans from snagging what were once cheap seats. Rich people are allowed to be baseball fans too, but they're a lot less fun to hang around, and they're intolerable when they fill a stadium.

Anyway, even though Yankee Stadium may be "just concrete," there's still enough history and mystique there to lure me hundreds of miles just to be a part of its final year of existance.


New York subways, for all the crap they get (figuratively and literally), are actually efficient and easy modes of transportation. After seeing what goes on above ground I couldn't imagine going borough-to-borough in a car. And if you drove you'd miss out on being in a tube full of baseball fans going to the same game. It gets crowded down there, especially on the stadium stops, but if you can't deal with a crowd then you shouldn't be going to baseball games in the first place.

As we climbed the stairs to ground-level we could see the facade of the new stadium. It's large and impressive, like the outer shell to a mighty coliseum. I knew the insides still looked like churned up dirt and rocks, but it was a good start.

The current of bodies lead us to our gate. There were two discernable mobs; there was the initial mob which got filtered through friskers (I was clean, but that was the quickest unthoroughest frisk ever) to the second mob, which was supposedly a lineup to the ticket-takers. People tried to secure some sort of spot for themselves, but all they ended up doing was blocking the freshly frisked from entering. There was a little bit of confusion until a big-voiced usher kindly demanded that everybody "move to the left... you WILL get in." And you know what, he was right. And even though there were gobs of people all trying to mash themselves into the same space, this whole process only took a few minutes.

The insides, as mentioned before, were slim, but the crowds eased up as people went through tunnels to find their respective tiers, rows, and seats. Eventually, upon the upper deck and behind home plate, we found ours. All of those classic pictures of the field were likely taken near our seats, and we had a great panoramic view of everything.

Unfortunately Bob Sheppard wasn't in attendance, at least not in the PA booth. He's been out all season with a bronchial infection and was once again unable to announce the players. There was one exception, though. Derek Jeter, in lieu of Bob Sheppard actually announcing his plate appearances, has requested that Sheppard's recorded voice make the announcement.

Like in most stadiums I've been to, many of the ticket holders were fashionably late. It initially didn't appear as though the stadium would fill out, but a few innings later the place was packed. What was disappointing, at least to me, was the number of patrons who filed out early. The game was a close one, but people started leaving soon after the seventh inning stretch. I understand wanting to beat the rush, especially to the subway, but I felt as though people were taking their team for granted. Too bad for them though because they missed a tremendous finale, which I'll get to later.

Speaking of the seventh inning stretch, I knew beforehand that they (meaning those in charge of stadium operations) play "God Bless America" before ye olde "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." I read somewhere that while "GBA" blares over the PA ushers actually block the aisles so people can't wander around during the duration of the song. This is half true. From the upper deck I peeked over the rails and saw that the ushers below did indeed block the aisles. People love to be forced into reverence. Up in our half of the stadium though the aisles and tunnels were free and clear. God bless America and God bless being allowed to go to the bathroom.

The game itself was fantastic. Chien-Ming Wang and his sinker started for New York, and Dustin McGowan and his mutton chops started for Toronto. The Yanks scored two quick runs in the first, then the Jays tied it up in the fourth when Matt Stairs hit a 2-run homer. The Blue Jays went on to score five more runs in the fifth, knocking Wang out of the game. The Yankees responded with two runs themselves in the bottom of the fifth and two more in the sixth. It remained 7-6, Blue Jay lead, until the ninth inning. Matt Stairs knocked another one, a ground-rule double, to score Alex Rios. Scott Rolen ended up on third with no outs, but he was unable to score.

Eight to six Toronto lead, bottom of the ninth.
Derek Jeter grounded out to third. One out.
Bobby Abreu lined out to center. Two outs.
Alex Rodriguez... Rodriguez singled to left, then advanced during Hideki Matsui's plate appearance due to "fielder indifference."
Then Matsui singled to center and Rodriguez came around to score.
Eight to seven Toronto lead, two outs, Matsui on first, Jason Giambi pinch hitting.
Swing and a miss. Strike one.
Foul ball. Strike two. The Yankees down to their last strike.
Then Giambi crushed the ball down the right field line. It was obviously far enough to clear the wall, but would it stay fair? After I lost sight of the ball I looked for the umpire. He was waving his finger in a circle. Yankees won on a walk-off home run by Giambi. The team swarmed Giambi at the plate and the crowd stood for several minutes applauding. People were cheering as we finally exited the stadium. People cheered all the way into the subway. What a great way to end a day at Yankee Stadium.

Kansas City @ Toronto, 5-23-08: ALL YOU CAN POSSIBLY STAND TO EAT

The Blue Jays decided to try out the All-You-Can-Eat option this past weekend in Toronto (where patrons can purchase a ticket that guarantees them a seat to the game, plus all the hot dogs, peanuts, popcorn, nachos, and soda they can handle). Naturally I was all over that.

It was interesting to note that they chose the Royals series to try out the promotion. The Royals don't draw a whole lot of fans to games in Toronto (at least not compared to Detroit or any of the Eastern Division teams) and I suppose this was the best way to gauge whether or not this thing would be a success.

Most of the dome was empty, but the AYCE sections were packed

Thanks to slow traffic on the QEW (and rubberneckers gawking at un upside-down car) we arrived an inning late. KC had already scored, and it turned out we missed the Royals' only run. I and everybody else, though, was far more interested in the food setup.

They gave us wristbands that allowed us to pluck whatever food we wanted (and however much we wanted) from the rows of tables on the 200 level. I had anticipated long lines, but everything was surprisingly efficient. From our seats we could leave, snag a handful of hotdogs, sit back down -- all in under 60 seconds.

The seats themselves were okay. We were tucked in an alcove next to the glass-encased restaurant beyond centerfield. We couldn't see the jumbotron, but there was a television overhead for our benefit. The crowd in our section was very well behaved, too (in contrast to those encountered in our last game). There were a lot of families, and I suppose the best time to bring kids to the game is when you can stuff them for a nominal fee.

TV above, actual action below... which to watch?

I found that due to the constant eating I had the worst time paying attention to the game itself. I am probably only able to do one thing at a time, and if I'm negotiating the cheese for my nachos I'm going to have trouble telling you who that runner is on second, or even how he got there.

Mysterious (and addictive) stadium cheese... in a bag!

Anyway, I anticipated this being a quick and low-scoring affair as Roy Halliday and Zack Greinke were on their respective mounds. I was half-right as Halliday ended up pitching a complete game, walking nobody, striking out five, and only allowing that one run we didn't see. Greinke, on the other hand, allowed six runs in five innings (all amassed in the 2nd and 3rd) on nine hits. The Royal relievers only allowed one more run after that. Toronto's back-up shortstop, Marco Scutero, was responsible for four of those runs as a pair of Jays scored on each of his two singles. Who needs Eckstein?

My favorite play, though, came when Aaron Hill made the best catch I've ever witnessed at a game (well, there was an amazing Little League catch I remember seeing -- a second baseman dove away from home plate into the outfield grass to make an over-the-shoulder grab -- but he was too short to simply jump up and catch the ball properly).

The Blue Jays needed this win too as they were fourth in their division and were in last place as recently as the 14th. Likewise, the Royals really could have used the victory as they too were fourth in their division. They lost, however, making it their fifth in a row.

Nobody messes with DeJesus

Everybody appeared to have a good time, at least on the 200 level. The game, for better or worse, was more of a side attraction, and the food, for better or worse, was plentiful. Personally I downed two-and-a-half hot dogs, three sodas, half a box of popcorn, half a pretzel, and three mini-boxes of nachos. My stomach still feels like a garbage bag, but I couldn't get enough of that cheese. I wasn't able to take many pictures for the same reason why I wasn't able to concentrate on the game; FOOD APLENTY.

Better Than "Centerfield"

Via Buzzgrinder, via CMJ, some aging rocksters (including members of REM) have formed a new band called The Baseball Project. (And to be fair, Linda Pitmon isn't really at all old... "experienced" rocksters, rather than "aging" ones.)

Peter Buck is involved. I didn't know he (or any other musical artist this side of Meatloaf) liked baseball. But he does, as do fellow REMer Scott McCoughey, Steve Wynn of Dream Syndicate (remember them?) and drummer Linda Pitmon.

Their first release, Volume 1: Frozen Ropes & Dying Quails, will be released on July 8 on Yep Roc records. The song "Past Time" is already up on Myspace and lyrically sounds like a baseball encyclopedia put to music (with some whoo-hoos thrown in for good measure).

This could be something to get excited about if the songs don't suck. But anything mentioning Oscar Gamble's afro is alright with me. And really, looking over the track list, how many awful songs about Harvey Haddix could there possibly be? (None, that's how many.)

Statistical Foray: To Infinity

Growing up I had several Wilson Alvarez baseball cards. Wilson Alvarez was a decent big league pitcher during the 90s and early 00s. I was never interested in his playing career, though. I was interested in how various baseball cards interpreted his 1989 ERA statistic. In 1989 Alvarez played one Major League game for the Texas Rangers. It was his first big league start, and in that game he allowed a single, back-to-back home runs, then back-to-back walks. He was then yanked by manager Bobby Valentine.

Zero outs, 3 earned runs, infinite earned run average.

And since this was his only big league appearance that year he will forever be stuck with an infinite ERA for the 1989 season. It's neat (at Alvarez's expense, of course), but how would a baseball card go about representing this non-number? Here's an example where Topps used a dash, which I suppose works. It's better than using 0.00 (which they've also done). Zero is absolutely incorrect. Infinity is, like, the opposite of zero. So what do you use? The 1993 Flair set got around this problem by omitting the '89 season entirely. Most cards, though, use "undef." or "inf." Upper Deck, I seem to recall, used an actual infinity symbol. This attention to detail was one of the reasons UD was better than all the other card companies.
Despite this statistical blemish, Alvarez redeemed himself in his next Major League start two years later when he threw a no-hitter. That's kind of amazing.

Anyway, I'm interested in other infinite seasons. Who allowed the most earned runs in a season without recording an out? In a mid-September game against Cleveland in 1979 Bob Kammeyer, pitcher for the Yankees, allowed eight runs on seven hits, including two homers. There was a hit batsman in there as well. Here's the boxscore. This was Kammeyer's last big league appearance. However the very next season as a member of the Columbus Clippers he was the International League's Pitcher of the Year.

Kammeyer's one-game effort (8 earned runs, no recorded outs) has only been matched twice since then, most recently by Paul Wilson in 2005. Wilson started for the Reds and the Dodgers jumped him for 8 runs on 5 hits. Interestingly Wilson Alvarez was the game's closing pitcher (he only had to face one batter, Sean Casey, who grounded out on the second pitch).

The other game involved Oakland pitcher Blake Stein in 1998, and it was again against the Indians. Stein didn't allow any home runs and in fact only allowed 4 hits, but he did walk 3 and hit-by-pitched another. Cleveland ended up scoring 10 runs that first inning, 8 of those credited to Stein.

Naturally Wilson and Stein were able to record outs in other games they pitched those years so baseball card manufacturers didn't have to deal with the whole infinity thing. Kammeyer, as far as I know, never had a baseball card. That's probably a good thing. Topps' calculators in 1980 would probably explode if they had to calculate infinity.

On-field Interview: Mark Ellis

The following transcript is completely fictional, but even though this concept, an on-field interview, completely tarnishes the sanctity of the game, that doesn't mean I wish it wouldn't happen. This is possibly the first of several. Who would YOU like to see in an on-field-during-gameplay interview?

Also, I started writing this a couple days ago and had no idea that the Orioles would actually be starting a three game series against the Athletics in Oakland TODAY. Sadly Daniel Cabrera isn't scheduled to start any games this series, so I'm not completely clairvoyant.


Jon: Welcome back to Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN. I'm Jon Miller here alongside my Hall of Fame partner Joe Morgan. Oakland has a two-to-nothing lead over the Orioles here in the bottom of the fifth thanks to a two-run shot by Jack Cust back in the second inning. Daniel Cabrera is still on the mound for Baltimore, and despite the homer, Joe, and despite already walking five batters, he's kept things from getting too far out of hand.

Joe: That's right, Jon. Cabrera can be wild sometimes, and that's usually been his downfall in the past. He's not a consistent pitcher, especially tonight. A couple singles, the home run to Jack Cust, all those walks... it's surprising he hasn't given up more runs. We'll see if he can settle down this inning, and if he can't I don't suspect he'll last too much longer.

Jon: Hey Joe, we have a special treat for our viewers at home. Often between innings we'll interview a coach or manager, but right now we're breaking new ground and making broadcasting history... right here on ESPN. Down in the on-deck circle we've got Oakland second baseman Mark Ellis miked up. Mark, can you hear us?

Mark: Oh yeah, loud and clear.

Jon: Mark has graciously allowed us to communicate with him while actually at bat. Of course Joe and I will pipe down once he actually gets into the batters box. We don't want to distract him any more than we have to, but we'll have a few words with Mark while Travis Buck takes his cuts. Mark, what are you doing to prepare yourself for this next at bat?

Mark: Well, a lot of the preperation came before the game, taking a look at video of Cabrera, looking over the numbers, seeing if he has any tendencies...

Joe: Of course, your previous at bats in this game will probably best prepare you for this at bat coming up.

Mark: Right, naturally. This game... this is the first time I've ever hit against Cabrera, so I wanted to prepare myself the best I could. And yeah, those earlier at-bats this game, I could look at a sheet of numbers all day, even watch the video, but until you step up to the plate with the bat in your hand... but even for this at bat, I'm still paying attention because in the same way that I learned how to approach Cabrera, he's learned how to better pitch to me.

Jon: Buck swings at the first pitch and misses, strike one. Now, you walked in your first at bat, then struck out in your second. What did you learn then?

Mark: Well, the first at bat I could've either taken a bunch of pitches just to get a feel for him, or I could've jumped up there aggressively. The bases were empty so I expected him to pitch aggressively to me. Y'know, throw strikes. I usually let the first pitch go by anyway, and I did. The next pitch was just outside, and I expected that, so I let that one go too. I was sitting on the fastball and waiting for one to be back in the strike zone, but it never was. The second at bat there was a guy on first. I knew Cabrera wouldn't want to walk me and put two on, although him doing that wasn't out of the question. He wouldn't do it on purpose. Oh, here's the next pitch to Travis...

Jon: Buck takes this one for ball one. One and one the count. So, Mark, there was a man on first and you didn't think Cabrera would walk you again?

Mark: Right, and I figured he'd keep the pitches low to get me to gound into a double play or something, but with two strikes he surprised me and pitched it high. That thing was eye-level, but I swung and missed.

Joe: So now you'll take what you learned those first two at bats and adjust.

Mark: Right, yeah. But how he approaches me this at-bat, the pitcher, it'll depend on whether or not Travis here can get on base.

Joe: There's all kinds of variables to consider, both from the hitter's and pitcher's points of views. There's the score, number of men on base, number of outs...

Jon: Buck hits this one deep down the first base line! It is... fouuul.

Mark: I could tell that was foul all the way, but you kinda got me excited there.

Jon: One and two the count. Sorry Mark, I didn't mean to raise your hopes there.

Mark: No, no. That's sort of your thing, isn't it? Where you say "fouuul"? I bet if you said "fair" the ball would've changed directions for a homer.

Jon: Haha, no I don't wield that kind of power. And even if I did I can't play favorites. If you're just tuning in we're talking with Mark Ellis who is on deck. Oakland has a two-to-nothing lead over Baltimore right now. Oriole pitcher Daniel Cabrera has been shaky this game but has only allowed those two runs. In the limited time you've seen Cabrera, Mark, what do you think of his stuff?

Mark: Well, he's got a great fastball and a hot slider. He's a big boy -- six foot seven, I think -- and when he takes that big step the ball gets on you in a hurry. Obviously he's got some control problems, but he's definitely a challenge to hit against.

Joe: Sometimes the wildness can be to a pitcher's advantage. He can be effectively wild and the batter can only guess where the next pitch is coming because the pitcher himself may not be %100 sure.

Mark: Yeah, it could either be low and away or in your ear.

Jon: There's a base hit for Travis Buck, a single to right. No outs here in the bottom of the fifth and our man Mark Ellis is now fully wired and up to bat. We'll keep quiet now and let Mark explain his situation. Take it away, Mark.

Mark: Thanks guys. Well, with no outs and a runner on first the infield is going to shift into double play mode. That'll leave a gap there between the third baseman and...

Ramon: Who are you talking to?

Mark: This is Ramon Hernandez, the Orioles' catcher. Umping behind the plate is the respectable Ed Montague.

Ramon: What? What are you doing?

Mark: I'm wearing a mic, and we're on live TV, so no swearing or you'll get in trouble with the network. So anyway, there's that gap on the left side of the infield, and if I can help it I'll try and poke it through. Again, I'll probably be getting a lot of low pitches...

Ed: Are you going to narrate or are you going to step into the box and hit?

Mark: Alright, the mighty Mark Ellis is stepping up to the plate.

Ramon: "Mighty" Mark Ellis?

Mark: Ramon is dropping the signs right now and I'm giving the pitcher a mean look.

Ramon: ...So annoying.

Mark: Cabrera is set to give up a base hit, and... Ramy, why did you have him throw to first? You're playing the Oakland Athletics. We've stolen, like, ten bases this season. The whole team. Travis over there at first hasn't stolen any. When I get on first I'm not even going to steal second.

Ramon: Hah, you are getting on first base only if Danny hits you in the face with the baseball.

Mark: Why would he hit me in the face?

Ramon: To shut your yapping mouth. Okay, Danny, en la cabeza!

Mark: Alright, I'm back in the box patiently awaiting the first pitch, unless you're still imagining Travis stealing imaginary bases.

Ramon: Recuerdas, Danny. La cabeza!

Mark: Here's the pitch...

Ed: STEEERIKE.

Mark: Of course I was taking all the way.

Ramon: Of course. The ball was in the middle of the plate but I saw you flinch.

Mark: I flinched because I should've hit that thing over the wall. Remember, Jon, if it's down the line and deep I want you to say "fair" instead of "fouuul".

Ramon: What? Who the fu... Who the fudge is Jon?

Mark: I've got Jon Miller and Joe Morgan listening up in the booth.

Ed: Tell Joe he still owes me a steak dinner.

Mark: Joe, Monty says you owe him a steak dinner.

Joe: I don't owe Ed Montague anything.

Mark: Joe says he doesn't owe you crap. Oh shoot, here comes the next pitch.

Ed: Low ball. One and one. He owes me a steak dinner. I mention this every time I see him but he still won't pay up.

Joe: There's nothing to pay. I don't owe him any dinners, steak or otherwise.

Mark: He still says no. Why does Joe owe you dinner?

Ed: We went golfing fifteen years ago, winner pays for dinner. I won and I'm still hungry.

Joe: We weren't playing gimmes and we weren't playing mulligans, but Ed used both on the last hole. Clearly... well, I won't say he cheated, but gimmes and mulligans negate the dinner agreement.

Ed: What's he saying? Is he giving you that gimme mulligan garbage? He replayed his tee shot on the fifth and sixth hole.

Joe: There were un-ignorable distractions when I teed off on the fifth and sixth hole and we agreed that it was okay for me to retake those shots.

Ed: STEEERIKE TWO.

Mark: Doggone it, Joe! Speaking of un-ignorable distractions. Can your audio team or whatever turn off the booth mikes until I get on base?

Ramon: You are not getting on base. You gonna get struck out.

Ed: If you consider inflation, and fifteen years have passed, Joe owes me a ten pound steak. You tell him that.

Mark: He can hear you. Now c'mon, I've got to concentrate. Two strikes. He'll probably throw something outside to get me to chase. If he were a more controlled pitcher I'd worry about him nipping a corner, but as it is it'll probably be way out or right in the strike zone.

Ramon: Right in your cabeza.

Mark: Now that last pitch, I had Joe in my ear, but I swung and missed on the slider. The first pitch was a fastball. His change up isn't his quality pitch, so if I see that one it'll probably be outside the strike zone. I'll sit on the fastball, but I'll really have to pay attention to the location as best I can. Alright, here it comes.

Ed: Take your base.

Mark: OW! ARGGH!! MMMM, that didn't hurt at all. Not at all not at all. Don't rub the spot don't rub the spot. Just trot to first like you didn't just get hit in the funny bone with a baseball.

Jon: Jon Miller and Joe Morgan back with you, speaking with Mark Ellis, who is now on first base after getting hit by a Daniel Cabrera fastball.

Tye: That get you on the elbow? Do you need to have that looked at?

Jon: That's first base coach Tye Waller talking to Mark, making sure he's okay.

Mark: I'm fine. I'm okay. I can't feel my arm, but no bones are sticking out.

Tye: What's this stuck to the inside of your helmet?

Mark: I've got a mic. I'm talking to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. Can you see which booth is theirs?

Jon: We're almost directly behind home plate, just a bit to the right. Your left, I guess. Can you see us waving?

Tye: Did Bobby say this was okay? Is that why you've been talking to yourself?

Mark: Front office said it would be good thing to try, that the fans would enjoy seeing things from the players' perspectives. I don't know if they told Bobby or not. Probably not. I don't think he'd go for that.

Jon: Are you referring to Bob Geren, your manager?

Mark: Yep. Yeah, that's him.

Tye: That's him who?

Mark: Oh, I was answering a question for Jon.

Tye: They can talk back to you too? Is that legal?

Mark: Quarterbacks can do it. Managers flash signs to their coaches, who flash signs to their players. I don't see why we can't talk to the broadcasters.

Tye: Boy, Bob's gonna lay down some sort of fine...

Mark: Nope. Front office has given me immunity. Beane said I wouldn't get fined or suspended or anything.

Tye: What about the commissioner?

Mark: Uh... I'll let Beane talk to him too.

Tye: (sigh) Alright, whatever. Make sure Barton doesn't hit you with the ball too.

Jon: First baseman Daric Barton at the plate now, and the Baltimore bullpen is stirring a little. After Barton is the DH Frank Thomas, the Big Hurt. How's that elbow, Mark?

Mark: It's tingly. Fortunately this isn't my throwing arm, so I'll be fine when we take the field again.

Jon: Now that you're on base what's your strategy?

Mark: Well, I have to be mindful of Travis there on second. I don't want to pass him, y'know, if he holds up on a fly ball and I decide to run. But if it's a ground ball I want to run hard to try and break up a double play. But yeah, on anything bigger than a routine single I'll watch Tony down there at third -- Tony DeFrancesco, the third base coach -- and get from one base to another as quickly as I can.

Jon: Barton takes the first pitch low for a ball. Now, Mark, I see Tony DeFrancesco flashing some signs. Are those to you or to the batter? What's he saying there?

Mark: I can't really tell you with Kevin here within earshot...

Kevin: What's that?

Mark: ...Kevin Millar, the first baseman. I don't want him to steal signs or anything.

Kevin: Who are you talking to?

Mark: I'm talking to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan up in the booth. I'm wearing a mic, so watch your mouth.

Kevin: They're letting you talk to those guys during the game? Man, if I had those guys in my ear I'd strike out every time. Can they hear me?

Jon: Loud and clear.

Mark: Yeah, they can hear you.

Kevin: Who's up there? Jon and Joe? Do you guys want to interview me right after the game? Right after I hit the game-winning home run?

Jon: Oh yeah, tell him we'd be happy to.

Mark: Jon and Joe said no because you wear too much eye gunk. It smears when you sweat and it scares Joe.

Jon: Ball two to Barton, two and oh. Is that true, Joe? Does Kevin Millar's eye gunk scare you?

Joe: No, but I think Kevin is too nice a guy to scare anybody.

Jon: Millar has been known to apply the eye black so heavily that he looks like Alice Cooper.

Joe: Who is she?

Mark: Hey Kevin, they're talking about you.

Kevin: They're always talking about me. They should've stuck a microphone in my hat. I could've done the whole play-by-play from right here.

Jon: The pitch to Barton... Popped up to right field...

Tye: Halfway!

Jon: Nick Markakis camping under it. Not deep enough to advance the runners...

Tye: Back! Stay here.

Jon: ...And the Orioles have their first out in the bottom of the fifth. Two runners on, first and second, the A's with a two-to-nothing lead, and now it's the Big Hurt, Frank Thomas, up to bat. Mark, does your running strategy change with Thomas hitting? And does it change with one out?

Mark: Well, with one out I want to be extra cautious on a pop fly because if it's deep enough, and I choose to advance when it's caught, I don't want to be the third out at second base. We've got a two run lead and that's really not very much. I'm still going to be aggressive on the basepaths. Aggressive but smart. On a base hit, if Travis tries to run home and draws the throw I'll make an effort to get to third base, especially if they miss the cut-off man.

Joe: What about the possibility of a hit-and-run?

Mark: Our team doesn't do a lot of hit-and-runs and steals and things like that. I guess you call it small ball. The organization's thinking behind that is that it causes a lot of unnecessary outs, and we can advance bases just as well without that kind of strategy. With that being said we still practice those kinds of tactics just in case the time is right to use them. We have a hit-and-run sign, and if I see Tony give that sign then you better believe me and Travis will be running.

Joe: See, and I mean no offense, Mark, but I think that method of playing baseball is a mistake. Billy Beane has it wrong. You generate and manufacture runs by being aggressive on the basepaths. And if the other team has it in the back of their minds that the baserunners may or may not steal, or hit-and-run, or bunt, or whatever, then they'll be distracted and more apt to make fielding or mental errors, and that allows more runners to advance.

Mark: We are aggressive on the basepaths. I mentioned the situation where I'll take off on a throw home. Aggressive and smart. I'm not about to make an out by thinking I'm superman and can do anything. Especially with just a two run lead. I'm more valuable safely at first base than I am out at second on a failed steal attempt. I mean, ultimately before the pitch it's the manager's call. He gives the steal sign and I'll steal. But that's not how this organization chooses to win our games.

Joe: But you're not going to win games like that, by letting things unfold instead of making things unfold...

Mark: Joe, we're two games out of first place. We're... oh, shoot.

Jon: Thomas hits it to the gap in left-center. That should be enough to score Buck. Around third he comes to score. The A's take a three run lead. Luke Scott, the left-fielder, finally has the ball.

Tony: GO, GO, GO!

Jon: Mark Ellis is being waved home. Around third he goes. Luis Hernandez cuts it off, fires it home. The throw is...

Mark: ARRR.

Ramon: OOF.

Ed: YER OUT.

Jon: In time! Out at the plate. The ball beat Mark Ellis by a couple steps, there was a collision, and Ramon Hernandez was able to hang onto the ball. Everybody's okay, though Mark's helmet came off in the collision.

Mark: Monty, can you toss me my helmet?

Ed: Is this thing on? Joe, you owe me a steak dinner!

Joe: I do not!

You Always Big Hurt the One You Love the Most

The Blue Jays just shot themselves in their big collective Jay foot.

The team is struggling this year (it's early in the season, but last place is no fun be it April or September) and changes might be necessary. But changes need to be made for the better, right?

Frank Thomas is now wearing Athletic green, and he's gone, and he's not coming back.

But he was slumping, wasn't he? Not contributing offensively?
Two things: A) the team has been slumping offensively, and B) Thomas in recent years has shown himself to be a slow starter anyway. Also, there was that 10,000 plate appearances = $10 million thing. Three things, then.

Thing A.
As of whenever I wrote this, the Jays are only averaging 4.57 runs per game. That's 10th in the league. As a team they're batting .258, good for 7th in the AL. Just 291 total bases, 11th best. 12th in slugging percentage. 13th in doubles. Interestingly though, the Jays have a decent on-base percentage (4th best in the league) thanks to a multitude of base-on-balls (2nd best!), but obviously all those runners are getting stranded (1oth in RBIs). Is Frank Thomas solely responsible for the team's last place presence? No, of course not. Half the line-up is in a funk. Thomas is just a circumstantial cog. In fact, Thomas had a bulk of those walks, so while he may not have been hitting his way on base, it's not like he wasn't there at all.

Thing B.
Frank Thomas, slow starter. These are his March/April stats from:
2007 - .250 batting average, .369 on-base percentage, .424 slugging percentage (4 HRs, 13 RBIs)
2006 - .190/.264/.405 (5 HRs, 11 RBIs)
2005 - injured
2004 - .304/.494/.571 (4 HRs, 9 RBIs) [in only 18 games, a good start]
2003 - .244/.440/.487 (5 HRs, 9 RBIs)

so far this season his line reads .159/.312/.317 (3 HRs, 11 RBIs). This includes his game for Oakland yesterday. These numbers aren't good even when compared to Thomas' recent March/April stats, but they're not drop-from-the-team worthy anamolies. How did he fare at the end of each of those seasons?

2007 - .277/.377/.480 (26 HRs, 95 RBIs)
2006 - .270/.381/.545 (39 HRs, 114 RBIs)
2005 - .219/.315/.590 (12 HRs, 26 RBIs) [in only 34 games. Injury season.]
2004 - .271/.434/.563 (18 HRs, 49 RBIs) [in only 74 games. Injuries!]
2003 - .267/.390/.562 (42 HRs, 105 RBIs)

If he remains healthy for a full season then there's no reason not to expect 25-35 home runs and 90-110 runs batted in, no matter how poorly he starts. In fact, just last season he led the Blue Jays in home runs and RBIs (walks, too). The Jays organization know this, so what reason, what POSSIBLE reason could there be to drop Thomas...

Thing C.
There's a clause in Thomas' contract that states that if he accumulates 1,000 plate appearances in 2007/2008 then he'll earn $10 million for 2009. After over 600 plate appearances last season it sure looked like Thomas was going to earn himself a nice pay increase. But after being benched the conspiracy theory now exists that the organization wants to prevent him from meeting that $10 million guideline. I'm sure the Jays weren't terribly keen on paying so much money to a 41-year-old, but it still remains that until he was dropped he was one of the team's best hitters.

What's most disappointing is that Blue Jay fans never got to witness the extra pop a line-up with Thomas AND Scott Rolen back-to-back. Rolen's out with a finger injury, and though he's close to returning in tonight's line-up! it's already too late. There's still Alex Rios and Vernon Wells and Matt Stairs, but a line-up with all five of those players together would have been a great thing to see.

The Blue Jays Home Opener

Friday the 4th me 'n' the missus attended the Blue Jays home opener in Toronto. The Red Sox were in town and with them came all their boisterous fans. 50,000 total in attendance, division rivals meeting, and the excitement of a new season... this probably wasn't going to be a mellowed out game of baseball.

(Click any of these images for a larger view)

It was cold, windy, gray, and awful outside. Just this once I was thankful for domed baseball.

Great view from the 500-level nosebleeds. Yes, we were higher than the foul poles. Every Blue Jays fan, by the way, received a free white rag with the Blue Jays logo on them. They're like the Twins' hankies, but you can dry dishes with them.

We arrived early enough to beat the crowd and catch some Red Sox batting practice, but soon all of these seats would be filled.

Here is Roberto Alomar, with the lights out, saying some stuff on the jumbotron.
During the opening ceremonies they unveiled Alomar's name on the Level of Excellence. Even though Alomar only spent five of his seventeen seasons in a Jay uniform they were all all-star seasons. He also helped the Blue Jays win two titles, and should he be elected to the Hall of Fame he's expressed his desire to wear their uniform.

Fireworks are neat and all, but man, they really fog the place up.

After Alomar threw out the first pitch it was game time. The Jays took the field in their vintage powder blue unis, and the Red Sox were met with lusty boos. For the first few innings Jays pitcher Shaun Marcum kept the Sox from accomplishing anything productive. He only allowed one hit through six. Boston knuckler Tim Wakefield, though allowing more baserunners, was equally as hard to score off of. He kept the Jays shutout until Matt Stairs homered to lead off the bottom of the sixth. From our seats we were unable see the ball go over the right field wall and couldn't know what was happening until the stadium's boat horn signalled the home run.

From that point on the runs came pouring in. Toronto scored two more that inning, but then JD Drew hit a three-run shot in the top of the seventh to tie the game. The Jays came right back and permanently took the lead with a 2-RBI double by Frank Thomas. David Eckstein knocked in another run in the eighth inning, and the Blue Jays defeated the Red Sox 6-3.

As an added bonus, Marcum's eight strikeouts ensured that every ticket holder would receive a free slice of pizza. Hooray for food promotions.

The Ortiz shift, seen above.
Wife: The rightfielder is playing really shallow.
Me: That's the second baseman.
Wife: Oh. The second baseman is playing really deep.
The rightfielder himself was fielding his position so deep that he was beyond our line of sight. The shift worked as Ortiz grounded out twice.

Meanwhile there was a good bit of mayhem in the 500 level. Every Sox fan was mercilessly picked on and fistfights were inevitable. We saw a fellow a few sections over take a header down the stairs and somebody else ended up at the receiving end of a series of haymaker blows. Pow, pow, pow -- haymade.

Fan participation culminated with two shirtless fools (one male, one female with a skin-colored bra [who obviously took streaking lessons from George Costanza]) running across the field. The woman only made it to the foul line (much to the amusement of Manny Ramirez, who was standing on first base just a few feet away). The guy got all the way out to centerfield before getting levelled by security. He ended up with a nasty turf burn across his chest.
Pwned, or FAIL, or something.
And while I would never condone pseudo-streaking or unwarrented jaunts across a baseball field, it's still terribly entertaining. Here's somebody else's Youtube video of the event.


Everybody, except for those who got punched in the face and certain members of security, had a great time (though my wife said that this was the most amoral game she had ever been to). The atmosphere was electric, the Blue Jays won, the Red Sox lost, and great baseball was played. Hopefully the Jays will make it all the way to the playoffs this season. Regardless of whether or not they do, I'll definitely try and make it to next year's opener.

2008 Opening Day Live Blog

Kansas City Royals vs Detroit Tigers. Channel 43.
I missed the first batter because I was taking out garbage. Stinky kitchens are no good, and I'll miss a first pitch to fix a stinky kitchen situation every time.

Justin Verlander on the mound for the Tigers. He's looking pretty solid, but it is only the first inning.

Mark Grudzielanek reached first when the first baseman bobbled the catch. Actually, Grudzy's name is so long his uniform reached base thirty seconds before he did. Not really? Okay.

Blue Jays vs New York Yankees. Channel 22.
...Rain delay?! What the fork? Oh well. This'll make my channel flipping a much easier thing to deal with.

Channel 43.
Gil Meche on the mound for the Royals. The Royals are full of questions marks, each of which will be answered by the end of the season. Meche himself is a question mark. Will he have a good season? A poor one? He had a surprisingly good season last year, but he was only so-so with Seattle prior to that. Of course, much of his performance will rely on how well the rest of the team hits and fields, and much of that is as questionable as Meche is. It's a big confusing circle.

Meche unquestionably walked Gary Sheffield (who I hear is a pleasant and agreeable person) and gives up a single to the Big Tilde.
I'm also paying close attention to Meche because he's on my fantasy baseball team. But none of you would care about that so I won't mention it again.

Channel 22.
Rain delay.

Channel 43.
The first and third base coaches look dumb in helmets. It's one thing to voluntarily wear the helmet. Colorado first base coach Glenallen Hill was the first to don a helmet following the death of a minor league coach, and I applaud him for it. But an isolated incident shouldn't be the basis for a rule that requires coaches to wear a helmet. Silly. And probably uncomfortable. A few agree.

ANYWAY
Bottom of the second, Carlos Guillen on second, and Meche striking the crap out of Ivan Rodriguez.

Detroit's going to be good this year. I'm already awarding them the AL Central title. The Royals... like I mentioned before, I just don't know. And since I don't know I think it's okay to be optimistic about the team. Not TOO optimistic, but they'll certainly be better than the last couple seasons. Right now they're battling with the Orioles for the status of "American League Punchline". If the Royals are solid enough this season then maybe they'll be omitted from that contention.

Meche walked another. Two walks, two innings.
Edgar Rentaria + single up the middle = first Tiger run of the 2008 season.

Channel 22.
Rain Delay.

Channel 43.
Commercials.
Why is the TV flickering? I don't know if the signal is bad, if the TV crew in Detroit doesn't know how to properly use an outlet, or if somebody on my floor is running a vaccum. How annoying.

I'm eating a bowl of noodles. The spicy chinese kind you make with boiling water. It's pretty good.

That half-inning came and went. It was unremarkable. Verlander struck somebody out. Three for him. Three strikeouts in three innings.

Meche back on the mound, striking out an overly upset Gary Sheffield. Magglio enacts Sheff's revenge by doubling to right. His hair might be disgusting, but his swing is a very pretty thing.

Miguel Cabrera, fresh from Florida. I'll be keeping an eye on him this season. I'll also be keeping an eye on Dontrelle Willis who came to Detroit from Florida as part of that same deal. I don't even remember who the other players involved were.

Groundout, by the way.
Two down, bottom of the third.

Carlos Guillen... another hit! A single to right. Magglio chugging around third. Chugging... chugging... still chugging... good grief he's slow. Thrown out at the plate by ten feet.
New inning.

Channel 22.
Spicy Baconater commercial. Those things are pretty good. It's the jalapenos that make them noticeably spicy, but unfortunately I don't like the taste of jalapenos. The rest of the burger is great, but if I brush off the jalapenos, what's the point?

Rain delay continues.

Channel 43.
Grudz on first base again. How did that happen? He looks a bit shaken up. What happened??

In Grudzy's first at bat, the one where the first baseman dropped the ball, they bumped into each other. If there's going to be an incident every time Grudzielanek reaches first base then he's in for a long season.

Oh. Hit by pitch. Grimace explained.

The Royals, by the way, have yet to get a hit. Top of the fourth. One down thanks to Alex Gordon hitting into a fielder's choice. Grudzy's free to nurse his boo-boos in the dugout.

The Royals have a Jose Guillen. The Tigers have a Carlos Guillen. Jose strikes out. Carlos points and laughs.

Bob Dylan has a great song called "Catfish". It's about Catfish Hunter and is probably the only song ever to mention Charles O. Finley. Check it out.

Bottom of the fourth time.

Channel 22.
Large white tarp covering Yankee Stadium's infield. How depressing.

Channel 43.
Since 1901 which team has played the Tigers the most times in Detroit on opening day? The Afflac duck tells me it's the Indians.

Ivan Rodriguez (or Pudge-Rod) singles to center.

Jacque Jones at bat. Cubbie last year. Tiger this year. It's like he's a fully grown animal now. Strikes out like a big freaking baby, though.

Bottom of the fourth, one out. Tigers up 1 to 0.
It looks really gray in Detroit. Gray and cold. That makes since because Detroit is two hours west of here, and here it's gray and cold.

Brandon Inge up, whose name sounds and looks like a suffix. Doubles like a suffix.

Doesn't look good for the Mecher. He's given up seven hits in under four pitched innings. So far he's been fortunate to have only allowed one run, but I'm not sure he'll get out of this one cleanly. Especially after WALKING A MAN TO LOAD THE BASES. Still one out.

Placido Polanco looking to blast things open. That man has a huge head. Look at it next time he has his hat off.

Wow. PP flied (flew?) out to Jose Guillen in right field. Pudge couldn't tag up and score from third because Guillen fired that thing right back to home plate. Good show. Two down.

Gary and his Field of Sheff at the plate.
FULL COUNT. BASES LOADED.
...the pitch...
...it's...
...
...low. Ball four. Add one run.

Tigers 2.
Royals 0.

The Royals got a hit last half-inning. I forgot to mention that. Billy Butler with KC's first hit of the season.

Anyway, Magglio Ordonez, who is a terrifically awesome hitter, will probably hit a grand slam here.

...Pop fly to left. But he was thinking about it.

And how in the world did Gil Meche get out of that crap with only one earned run?! Meche: the luckiest man in baseball.

Channel 22.
Game officially postponed. I'm sure the Yankee fans would riot, but the rain probably wouldn't do much for the mob fires.

Channel... oh, wait. They're just showing the KC/Detroit game on this channel now. This is great because this channel doesn't flicker. I win.

John Buck at bat for the Royals.
John Buck struck out for the Royals.
Verlander really is averaging a strikeout an inning.

The ump just gave the Royal bench a warning. Probably arguing balls and strikes. Probably unnecessary whining.

Strikeout number six. So much for the one-strikeout-one-inning ratio.

I'm obviously not calling every play and every out and every pitch. Check a box for that stuff.

Bottom of the fifth.

Miguel Cabrera... with Detroit's first homer of the season.
...with his first homer as a Tiger.
...with his first American League homer.

Tigers 3
Royals 0

Good grief. Pudge hit it all the way to the track. Had it been down the line it might've gone out. Perhaps this is why Brett Tomko is warming up in the bullpen.

Quick inning otherwise.
Top of the sixth.

I've got the TV volume turned low and the media player volume turned high (hence the random mentioning of the Bob Dylan tune a while ago). Just thought you should know, and I'll mention any other interesting songs that randomly come up.

The best and worst thing about these noodle bowls are the completely bizarre things you'll find in them. Like this... it looks like Lisa Simpson's head with a red spiral in it. I have no idea.

Grudzielanek at bat for KC. Probably about to hurt himself somehow.
Non! A base hit. Just the second for the Royals.

There's only been one opening day no-hitter. Bob Feller for the Indians against the White Sox. 1940. Those things don't happen very often.

WOWIE. Alex Gordon just beat the cheese out of the ball. Homer deep to right. Suddenly the Royals are back in this.

Tigers 3
Royals 2

Royals with only three hits but with two runs. Compare that to the Tigers EIGHT hits, but three runs.

Bottom of the... where are we? Fifth? Sixth.

Meche is still in there (as he gives up a deep popfly out to Inge), but I suspect that if he gets into the trouble he saw last inning they'll probably pull him.

Another quick popfly out. Two down.

Have I been spelling "popfly" consistently? "Pop fly" vs "popfly". From now on it's one word.

Pop... I mean, GROUNDball out. That was quick.

Top seventh.

Neat. There's a sweet statue of a sliding Ty Cobb outside ComericA (no typo) Stadium. I don't doubt that statue will find some way to spike a second baseman somewhere.

Verlander's getting close to the 100-pitch mark. I don't know if he'll be back next inning or not, especially now that there are runners on first and third. Yeah, I don't know how it happened either.

...And now there'll be a pitching change. Let's all welcome Jason Grilli.

John Buck with a basehit. Tie ballgame. He took some hefty empty cuts, but finally he connected roundly enough to poke a single to left.

Tigers 3
Royals 3

Top seventh (still), NO OUTS, KC runners on first and second.

Tony Pena, Jr., at bat trying hard to bunt the ball. Foul. Foul X2. He'll have to swing now. He might as well have kept bunting. All he did was get the runner at first out in a rundown. We call that a fielder's choice. We call that a big waste of time.

Still a man on first, still a man on third. One out.

Pitching change. Good work, Grilli. I guess.

Now on the mound, Bobby Seay. A lefty to face lefty Joey Gathright. Gentle fly to short.

Pitching change. Good work, Seay. I guess.

Now on the mound, Aquilino Lopez. Who? He pitched 17 innings last year, none of which I saw. Grudz must have been watching the video, though, 'cause he just single to center like it was nothing. Go-ahead run.

Tigers 3
Royals 4

Alex Gordon pops to end the inning.
This game is turning out to be a little bit exciting.

Bottom seventh.

Brett Tomko now pitching for the Royals. I thought maybe Meche might come back, but that long Royal rally probably didn't help things. Also I have no idea how many pitches Meche threw.

Full count on Sheff. Ball four. Walk. Three walks for Gary. Give the man a pitch to hit.

Magglio up again. Grounds into a double play.

Miguel Cabrera at bat. Homered last time just because he wanted to. Stikes out this time. Just because he wanted to.

Top of the eighth.

Aquilino still pitching for Detroit.
One pop out.
Two pop outs.

Teahen slaps one to the gap and has the Royals' first triple of 2008.

...All for naught, though, as Ross Gload grounds out.

Bottom of the eighth.

Tomko, still in.
Carlos Guillen... way out. WAAAY out. To deep right.

Detroit 4
Royals 4

If I poked my head out the window I could probably hear the crowd cheering from Detroit. Not really.

Two outs.
I wasn't paying attention. WW, as it were.

Beach balls in center field. Stop that.

Strike three, Inge out.

Top nine.

Todd "Handlebar moustache man" Jones now pitching. I guess the Tigers are expecting to close this one out in the bottom of the ninth or something. Ninth or tenth. Either way Jones usually makes things interesting.

John Buck is just hackin' and hackin'. Like, with his bat. If he was coughing that'd be pretty gross. Let's see if he can keep one fair, though.

He does, and it's a dinky little ground out.

TP, Jr., just strike threed on a pitch near his face. Gotta learn to lay off the ones in your teeth.

Gathright popout. Three outs.

Bottom nine.

Royals manager Trey Hillman looks angry and scary. If as the KC manager he's this hosed at the beginning of the year, just wait until... well, anyway.

Leo Nunez pitching for the Royals. Striking out Renteria.

Polanco... lining out to a diving Grudzielanek. I wish Grudzy would stop doing so much this game because his name is very hard to spell.

Sheffield at bat. Full count already. The pitch...
Ball four. Gary Sheffield has walked four times this game.

But why? Magglio Ordonez bats behind him. Would you rather face the Big Tilde?? (As he harmlessly pops out to the first baseman. I won't talk anymore.)

Top ten.

Trey Hillman, it's worth noting, managed in Japan from 2003 to 2007. He was a Nippon-Ham Fighter. I only wish I could play for a team called the Ham Fighters. Fighters of Nippon-Ham, I suppose. But still...

Denny Bautista taking Todd Jones' place. I understand.

Mark Grudzielanek at bat. Grudzielanek at first. Single to left.

Now's Alex Gorden. Remember he homered earlier. He could totally do it again.

They snuck in a pinch runner. No longer will I have to spell out Grudzielanek. Now running, Esteban German. Esteban and German rhyme.

You know what else rhymes? Esteban German stealing a BASE, right out from under your FACE.

Go-ahead run on second, one out (Alex Gordon was useless), Jose Guillen at bat.
Score tied.
Extra innings.

Guillen struck right out. Two down.

Billy Butler hit the ball pretty hard, but lined it to the left fielder (Clete Thomas?), who made some sort of sissy jump to catch the ball.

Bottom ten.

Extra innings on opening day. How exciting.

Leo Nunez, who's a flailer, is still on the mound for KC. Miguel Cabrera at bat. But not anymore. One out.

Carlos Guillen, popout to center. It was deep enough for people to think, at least for a split second, that the game was over. Two down.

The Tigers have played in the longest opening day game against the Indians (Afflac duck!) when they went 15 innings in 1960. Detroit won, 4-2.

Nunez has a hot fastball. 97 mph. Striking Pudge out.

Top eleven.

Royals have a couple guys warming up in their bullpen. I don't know if Nunez can deal three innings or not. Regardless, Bautista is still pitching for Detroit. They haven't shown the Tiger bullpen yet. If it's empty it might soon see some action as Teahen just walked.

Gload, sac bunt. Teahen to second. One out.

Trey Hillman looking angry.

John Buck single to center... Teahen rounding third? No. NOO. Pegged at home. Good throw by Inge. Trey Hillman is angry because he can see the immediate future.

Buck's at second if that's any consolation.

Pena, Jr., swinging for the fences. Missing, of course.
No home run, but he does golf a pitch to shallow center. It falls for a hit, Buck scores from second, and the Royals take an extra-inning lead.

Tigers 4
Royals 5

Two down, and they're really paranoid about Jr. at first. Pickoffs, pitchouts... he's in somebody's head.

My back hurts.

Passed ball. Pena to second. How weird. All this time they thought he'd run, but he advances on a passed ball. Irony.

Gathright walks anyway, so now there's a man on first and second with two down. Esteban at bat. Esteban swinging and missing. Esteban striking out.

Bottom eleven.

Joakim Soria will try and hold Detroit to zero runs this inning. But he's got Clete Thomas to deal with. CLETE!

CLETE!! with a double.

Brandon Inge is trying out the whole bunting thing and bounced the ball right back into himself. Try again. He does. Successfully. One out, man on third.

It's a wonder that Inge isn't a man of excess. In the boxes he's labelled as B.Inge.

(pause for laughter)

Renteria is taking cuts like he's trying to win a ballgame. A deep fly ball will tie the game back up. A deeper one will win it.

A strikeout will get him nothing. And it is so.

Two down. Fathead Polanco up. Tying run 90 feet from home.

Sharp grounder to that weird area between third and short. Diving stop by Alex Gordon. Throw to first for the out. Game over. ROYALS WIN BASEBALL!

Nice stop by Gordon. Totally saved the game. And ended it.


And this ended up being the longest post ever.

Happy opening day!
Enjoy the rest of the season.