Welcome, everybody, to a live blogging of the 2009 MLB season opener between the Atlanta Braves and the Philly Phillies.
Those new to the live blogging concept, here's what's up:
Hit the refresh button every couple of minutes for semi-live updates of the game. You're probably better off just watching the game, but those of you who choose to watch and read at the same time... you're crazy.
Also, it's common practice to read a live blog for a minute or two, then go do something else far more productive.
8:04
Oh boy, Jon Miller, Joe Morgan, AND Steve Phillips. Don't be sad, one out of three ain't bad.
8:05
I'm eating a couple homemade wraps as well. Rice, beans, corn, salsa, in a flimsy tortilla, TIMES TWO, while I frantically type and monitor two monitors... this may end badly.
8:09
I'm realizing to my horror that I only recognize half of the Braves starting line-up. I don't know if that's my fault or the team's.
TOP 1st
FIRST PITCH OF 2009... ball one. Brett Myers pitching.
And zappo, two quick outs. It's not even worth mentioning how those outs came about. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.
Chipper Jones, A RECOGNIZABLE NAME, just gophered it to left field. HOLY COW FIRST BASEHIT OF 2009!!!11!!
8:15
Brian McCann McCRUSHED the ball over the right field wall. FIRST TWO RUN HOMER-ROOSKI OF 2009!!!
2-0 Braves
Garrett Anderson, who is no Angel, cannot adequately follow up and grounds out. THIRD OUT OF 2009!!!
BOTTOM 1st
8:18
I'm finding the Phillies line-up to be quite likable. If the Phillies line-up could be embodied into one single human being, I think we could be friends. Except for the Brett Myers portion of that human being. But I guess we all need armpits.
Derek Lowe pitching. Expect lots of jokes about the pitch being LOW(e).
Jimmy Rollins grounds out. From now on whenever somebody grounds out I'm just going to tap the underscore key, like so: _
A pop out by Werth. Pop outs, like so: ^
I'm going to change the face of scorecards.
8:23
Chase Utley hits it deeeep... Francoeur near the right field wall... caught, quite routinely actually.
FIRST COMPLETED INNING OF 2009!!!1!!@
TOP 2nd
8:26
Welcome back to... ohFrancoeurjusthomered.
3-0 Braves.
Yeah, it was that quick.
Kotchman strikes out. FIRST BLAH BLAH BLAH 2009.
Ah, the Major League debut of Jordan Schafer. He looks like he's 12-years-old.
...
Bite me in the pants, the fresh meat just homered in his first ever at-bat.
Joe Morgan: (calmly) "Well, that is an oddity."
Steve Phillips: (inanely) "(Babbling)"
4-0 Braves
8:31
Pitcher vs. pitcher/batter matchup. I will take this time to put one of my wraps back together.
[doing so]
And I'm back. Strikeout? Yep.
Kelly Johnson at bat for a second time. Pops... I mean, ^
Three outs. Moving on.
BOTTOM 2nd
8:36
Ryan "homerun or strikeout" Howard at the bat.
Big swings.
Big strikeout.
If you're interested in reading any prior live blogs, by the way, I've got a couple more HERE.
Ibanez, grounds, out, to the shortstop. Dos down.
Victorino also grounds out, but the shortstop had to reach across so it was slightly more interesting. Really.
That was a quick half-inning. SLOW DOWN GUYS. CALL TIME OUT AND STUFF.
TOP 3rd
8:42
Escobar Esco-bashed the Esco-ball to center, missing a home run by a few feet. He's on second with a double.
Now pitching for Philadelphia, the Liberty Bell.
8:43
The ticker at the bottom of the screen just said "LeBron drops 38". ESPN, World-Wide Leader in hip verbage.
Chipper Jones down on strikes.
McCann up hoping to re-homer. Instead he pops out in foul territory. That's, like, doubly useless.
Garrett Anderson, _ to first. Three down. No damage that inning, and the Braves consecutive innings scored streak for 2009 is over.
BOTTOM 3rd
Pedro Feliz at bat. In Spanish his name translates to Pedro Happy. Sort of. I'm sure there are accent marks to deal with.
Whatever, he pops out and has legally changed his name to Pedro un-Feliz.
uh,
Carlos Ruiz popped it down the right field line. Foul territory. Francoeur telling the world that he's got it. Does not got it.
Ruiz goes down the other line and ends up on second because of fan interference. DO NOT TOUCH THE BALL. AREN'T THERE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE FRONT ROW SEATS??
Myers grounds out, does not advance runner.
Rollins up. Joe Morgan loooves him some Jimmy Rollins. I mean, I like Jimmy Rollins, but I'm not IN like with Jimmy Rollins.
He flies out to left. This relationship is over.
TOP 4th
8:57
Francoeur at bat once again. He's been quite involved in this game already, and that frustrates me because I can't ever spell his name correctly on the first try.
He lines out sharply to Rollins at short. They're still talking about Francoeur's batting stance even though he's not at bat any more.
Joe Morgan is talking about siting a rifle. A chill went down my spine.
9:00
Kotchman grounds out.
Jordan Schafer, we're being told, is only the 99th player to hit a home run in his first at bat. And now he singles in his second ever at bat. That's right, kid, it's all downhill from here.
Lowe flies out. Three outs. New inning. More commercials.
BOTTOM 4th
9:05
Hey, it's Terry Pendleton. He's being interviewed while wearing one of those huge traffic controller headsets. PAY ATTENTION TO THE PLANES, TERRY.
Jayson Werth at bat. His parents clearly could not spell. It's wOrth. Duh.
Grounds out, though Kotchman at first had to dig the throw out of the dirt.
Utley scoots it down near first... Kotchman dives, makes a good throw to Lowe covering at first. Good play. Good out.
Ryan Howard up. The infield is all shifted over, and it pays off as the shortstop Escobar, pretending to be a second baseman, picks up the grounder and makes the out.
1-2-3.
TOP 5th
9:11
The pitching coach's name is Rich Dubee? Well... okay. I'll sidestep the obvious joke and ask if he has some brothers.
I think Myers has finally got his stuff together. He strikes Johnson out, gets Escobar to ground out, and issues zero balls over the wall.
(cough)
Chipper Jones just ground-rule-doubled over the wall.
9:15
McCann at McBat, Jonesy at second, two down... three down, strikes out. Braves are starting to strand runners. IT'S HARDER TO SCORE WHEN YOU DON'T HIT IT 450 FEET, ISN'T IT?
BOTTOM 5th
9:18
The score, by the way, is still 4 to 0, Braves.
Ibanez grounds. Out. One down.
Shane Victorino, wanting to be the Victor-rino (I will pun you to death), taking his hacks. Missed that last one. Strikeout number two for Lowe.
Is it a conflict of interest for them to air Lowes commercials while Lowe is pitching?
Pedro Feliz returning to the plate. I'm voting for Pedro.
Somebody named Taschner is warming up in the Philly bullpen. Is he coming in to relieve the Braves pitcher?
Lowe strikes out Feliz for strikeout number three and for the third out in the inning. Follow?
9:25
At some point I'm going to have to take out the garbage. I'll also have to use the bathroom. Where's the pause button?
TOP 6th
Philly Phanatic, making me uncomfortable in that wig.
Garret Anderson shot it back to the pitcher, off Myers glove, the ball dribbled over to nobody, Anderson safe at first. I kinda like infield singles.
Francoouueur grounds it hard down the 3rd base line, Feliz picks it up (barely) and gets him out at first, advancing the runner to second.
Kotchman grounds out too, Anderson advances again. MOVE THOSE RUNNERS. Joe Morgan is probably wetting himself.
Ohgoodgrief, they're walking the wonderboy. I guess he DOES have a lifetime batting average of 1.000 and an on-base percentage of AWHOLEBUNCH.
SO, runners on the corners, two outs, and Lowe is about to screw everything up again.
UNLESS Brett Myers can screw things up first. Full count.
Strike three.
Out three.
No damage.
Just the mental damage
of seeing the Philly Phanatic in a wig
thrusting his/its crotch.
BOTTOM 6th
Carlos the catcher, grounds to short. Jon Miller says there's been lots of ground balls. It's how they keep the grass so short.
Taschner, still warming up. He's probably quite toasty by now.
Lou Dobbs... no, GREG Dobbs, pinch hitting for Myers, hits one deeeep to right. Francoeuerer on the track... makes the catch. We're way past due for another home run.
Jimmy Rollins singles up the middle. Only the second hit for the Phils. Lowe is cruising.
9:40
A Mike Boddicker reference! My night is complete.
The Ticker says that Alex Rodriguez feels "70%". A 70% Rodriguez... what is that? .280, 25 home runs?
Werth hits it back up the middle, Lowe does some sort of ballerina leap to snag it in mid-air.
Three outs.
TOP 7th
9:45
I just took out the garbage. It was smelling quite unholy. It still smells unholy, but at least now it's at the bottom of a garbage chute.
Taschner pitching. Gets King Kelly Johnson to ground out to second.
Taschner pitching. Gets Escobar to ground out to second.
Taschner pitching. Gets Chipper Jones to... strike out. (ha! got you!)
Jack Taschner, keeping things unremarkable.
BOTTOM 7th
9:57
Ack, I was in the bathroom and missed the first two outs. I was anticipating the 7th inning stretch to be more substantial.
Ibanez... grounds out. I'm sure the other two guys grounded out too. We all ground out sometime.
Lowe only threw six pitches that inning. He is the Sir.
TOP 8th
10:00
Scott "Jane" Eyre now pitching for Philadelphia. He's kind of spazzy, but only when he's not actually throwing the ball.
McCann at the McPlate, McStrikes McOut (it never grows old!)
Wait, they've already postponed the Royals-White Sox game? But it's tomorrow. Can they do that?
Garret Anderson flies out to left. Two down.
Score still 4-0, Braves.
Charlie Manuel, being the match maker he is, is bringing in a new pitcher. Time to gather myself a beverage.
10:07
New pitcher Chad Durbin strikes out old batter Francoeur. Well, that was easy.
BOTTOM 8th
Phillies are six outs away from losing their first game in over five months.
Victorino not helping things by dribbling it back to the pitcher. It didn't even make it to the pitcher. Lowe had to come off the mound and meet the ball halfway. Throw to first, one out.
Miller, Morgan, and Phillips have been arguing over pitch semantics for, like, three innings.
Pedro Feliz, strike out. Two down. I think Lowe is getting better the longer he pitches. And Jon Miller just insinuated the same thing. We may share a brain.
Ruiz, ground out. Eight pitch inning. On to the 9th (inning, that is).
TOP 9th
10:14
Phillies closer Brad Lidge now, ah, closing for the Phillies. He will be if the Phils don't pick up at least four in the bottom half of the inning.
Kotchman. Ground out. Man.
Joe Morgan mentioned that Lidge didn't do so well when he was with the Astros. I like to think Albert Pujols had something to do with that.
Jordan Schafer, my new favorite player at bat.
Strikes out.
I hate him.
Greg Norton pinch hitting, pinch pop flies to left. Three outs.
BOTTOM 9th
This has been a very fast game. It looks like it'll wrap up well under the three hour mark.
Mike Gonzalez closing it out for the Braves.
Good gravy, is that how he pitches?
It sucks because Eric Bruntlett (who happens to look exactly like a Bruntlett) doubles down the line.
10:24
Jimmy Rollins sac flies Bruntlett to third. The Phillies may score yet.
I've been way inconsistent with these time-stamps.
Jayson Werth singles sharply to left. Bruntlett scores. In about two minutes Gonzalez has already given up the same amount of hits as Lowe did in 8 innings and allowed more runs (1) to score.
Chase Utley, with one big swing, could bring the Phillies to within one. Put on your dopey rally caps!
Utley walks. Lowe didn't walk anybody. Why can't Gonzalez be more like Lowe?
10:28
Situation: 4-1, Braves lead. Phillies have runners at first and second. One out.
Ryan Howard and his pulverizin' bat at the plate.
Full count.
Is Gonzalez going to do this every game?
Strike three. Lookin'. You can't look a homerun.
Two down.
10:30
Ibanez, trying not to be the final out. That's so embarrassing.
Full count AGAIN.
Strike three.
The end.
That got kind of exciting at the end. That's why they pay Gonzalez the big bucks.
Final score: Braves 4, Phillies 1.
Take THAT for winning the World Series.
Thanks for hangin' out. We'll have to do this again sometime. Not often, but occasionally. On special occasions.
The Jays have their home opener tomorrow night. I'd live blog that one too except that I'll actually BE there, and I can't text that quickly.
Happy new baseball year!
