Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Bullpen

This is the Cardinals bullpen. I feel like there are a lot more guys hiding in there somewhere but every other familiar name I double-checked now pitches for another team. At the beginning of the season there was a lot of criticism leveled at the bullpen (*cough*RyanFranklin*cough*) but, after considerable wheeling and dealing the Cardinals have put together a respectable group of pitchers.


This is Kyle McClellan. He was left off of the NLDS roster due to a recent bout of arm fatigue. He says he's fine, so maybe he will show up later if when the Cardinals advance. Just thought you should know.


This is Mitchell Boggs. Like a lot of guys in the Cardinals' bullpen he has experience starting games, finishing games, and showing up somewhere in the middle. The past four seasons his won-loss record has been 3-2, 2-3, 2-3, 2-3. This isn't relevant to anything, it's just a minor statistical oddity.


This is Mark Rzepczynski (pronounced zep-CHIN-skee). YES HE HAS A WEIRD NAME. There aren't many people named Mark anymore. A former starting pitcher in Toronto, the Jays converted him to the bullpen before trading him to the Cardinals halfway through the season. As a left-handed pitcher he is often brought in as a specialist for specific match-ups, although he has pitched as many as three innings in relief. Since coming to the Cardinals he has averaged 11.1 strikeouts per nine innings, which is quite good.


This is Octavio Dotel (rhymes with Hotel). He has played for 11 teams in the past 8 seasons, which either means he is not terribly desirable, or he is the king of one-year contracts, or it means he is an excellent bargaining chip. Since coming to the Cardinals mid-season from the Blue Jays (just like half the dang team) Dotel has pitched effectively and has been used recently as the eight inning set-up man.


This is Arthur Rhodes. He is old. He was playing Minor League baseball in 1988. In 2007 he underwent Tommy John surgery, so really he is only pitching with a four-year-old arm. A lefty specialist, he will only face one or two batters at a time, some of whom weren't even born when he signed his first contract. Rhodes has done well as opponents have only batted .207 against him since he came to St. Louis in August.


This is Fernando Salas. He was born in Huatabampo, Mexico, which is infinitely fun to say out loud. This is only his second season in the Majors and for a while the Cardinals used him as their regular closer. They never announced that he was THE closer, he just frequently found himself pitching the final inning of tight ballgames. Last month his role was less defined as he was brought in to pitch as early as the seventh inning. Regardless he is consistent, reliable, and Mexican.


This is Jason Motte. He is a relief pitcher. Less a pitcher, more a throw-the-living-crap-out-of-the-ball-er. As they'll remind you during every broadcast Motte was a former catcher. You can tell this in his delivery as it looks like he is trying to throw every pitch through a brick wall. Despite throwing the ball so violently he walks surprisingly few batters. Last month he was used as the closer despite the fact that, again, the Cardinals never announced an official closer. He was simply their guy who finished close games.

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Infielders

Game 1 against the Philadelphia Phillies started off promising enough (three runs off of Roy Halladay? Holy cow!) but a bad inning, followed by a bad inning, followed by a bad inning put the victory out of reach. But with Halladay out of the way, the Cardinals can look forward in Game 2 to beating up on... Cliff Lee? Aw, nuts.

Let's look at the Cardinals' infield. Apart from Albert Pujols and, to some extent, Yadier Molina, the regular infielders are quite anonymous outside of St. Louis. Tony LaRussa is always shuffling them around anyway, so how are we supposed to keep track? Here are the guys you should at least make an effort to remember.

This is Albert Pujols (pronounced POO-holes, tee-hee). He plays first base, except for those weird seven games when he played third. Despite having the worst offensive season in his Major League career, he still led the team in home runs, hits, RBIs, runs, and total bases, among other things. Pujols is so dominating with his bat people forget he is also an excellent fielder and a smart baserunner (his stolen base success rate is always surprisingly high despite the fact he is not at all fast-legged). In 57 post-season games (including last night's Game 1) Pujols is batting .322 with 13 home runs and 37 walks, 12 of them intentional, so as this series progresses expect some Pujolsian damage.


This is Skip Schumaker. You could probably figure out everything you needed to know about him by simply looking at his name. Scrappy player under 6ft tall? No home run power, .290 career average? Check, check and check. In addition to competently fielding his second base position Skip can also be seen playing the outfield when Tony LaRussa gets a case of the late-inning switcharoos. Fun fact: Earlier this year Tony had him pitch (with permission, I'm sure) the last inning of a blowout game. Of the five batters he faced, he struck out two. He also walked a batter and gave up a homer. There is no reason to think Tony won't try this again next season.


This is Ryan Theriot (like "stereo," but without the letter S). He also plays second base. Theriot was actually the regular starting shortstop until Rafael Furcal was acquired in July. Since then he's been platooning with Skip and filling the position for the late innings. Theriot has also shown himself to be an effective pinch hitter.


This is Rafael Furcal. The Cards picked him up from the Dodgers in a mid-season trade. Although he is a little error prone, Furcal has great range and a cannon arm. He missed the final two games of the regular season with a hamstring injury but felt well enough to start Game 1 last night. After singling in his first at-bat the announcers said his base running could be hindered by the injury. Then he went ahead and stole second.


This is David Freese. He splits third base time with Daniel Descalso (which unintendedly sounds like some sort of innuendo). The Cardinals acquired him before the 2008 season by trading away an old broken Jim Edmonds to San Diego. Freese is a good hitter... and this concludes all I know about David Freese.


This is Daniel Descalso. He is a utility infielder playing his first full season in the Majors. Although not a regular starter, his versatility has allowed him to appear in 148 of the Cardinals' 162 games. He is always around, but you forget about him later.


This is Yadier Molina. He is the catcher, one of the best in the Major Leagues. Although he as always been regarded as an excellent fielder, the 2011 season was his best offensively. Usually regarded as a relatively quiet guy, this year Yadier got himself some tough tattoos and then later spat on an umpire. If this new scary Yadier continues to improve his hitting then I'm all for the radical image change. It is important to note that Molina is a post-season stud, batting .313 in 33 games and always there for the critical hit.

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Outfielders

Tony La Russa switched up his starting pitchers again. We still have Kyle Lohse starting Game 1, but now Chris Carpenter is starting Game 2 on three days rest. He has never pitched on anything less than four days rest. SCARY. Jaime Garcia will start Game 3, and Edwin Jackson is bumped to Game 4. It wouldn't surprise me if this all changes fifteen minutes before game time.

Now lets talk about the outfield. Ten different people at one point or another started a game in Tony's outfield this season, so you'll be forgiven if you can't recall everybody. They look so tiny out there anyway. Here are the need-to-know names and faces.


This is Matt Holliday. Apparently his nickname is "Big Daddy," which disturbs me more than a little bit. He is the left fielder, and every once in a while he has trouble catching baseballs lined directly at him. He more or less lost Game 2 of the 2009 NLDS all by himself when he attempted to field a line drive with his crotch, so hopefully there will be some sort of Matt Holliday redemption story this go-round. As ineffective as he can sometimes be in the field, he more than makes up for it with his bat. Holliday can hit for average, maintains a good on-base percentage, and is always a home run threat. However, he currently has a bum finger and will miss Game 1.


This is Jon Jay. He has, as far as I can tell, the shortest name in baseball history (right up there with Mel Ott). Raise your hand if you knew Jay played in 159 of the Cardinals' 162 games, more than anybody else. Now put your hand down because I can't actually see you. Yes, Jay weaseled his way into nearly every game by starting a few games here, pinch hitting there, replacing Lance Berkman over yonder, etc. Following the Colby Rasmus trade in July, Jay became the regular center fielder. He's reliable, he's durable, he's young (only his second MLB season), and the kids love him.


This is Lance Berkman. His nicknames are, and I'm not making this up, "Big Puma" and "Fat Elvis." After a disappointing 2010 season a lot of people decided that Berkman was old and broken. Eyebrows were raised when the Cards signed him during the off season, and eyebrows were raised even higher when it was announced he would play the outfield (something he hadn't done since 2007). He managed not to tear up his leg muscles in the field, and surprised everybody at the plate by becoming one the Cardinals' best offensive producers. He led the team in OBP, SLG, and (by extension) OPS.


This is Allen Craig. In only his second Major League season he has been surprisingly effective with the bat. As far as fielding goes he can play nearly every position, infield and out. He's usually been used to fill in for injuries or guys taking a day off or late-inning outfield substitutions. If he keeps performing this well he will have a regular starting gig someday.


This is Corey Patterson. He came over from the Blue Jays in that super deal in July that sent everybody everywhere. About the only thing going for him right now are his speedy legs, but he has zero stolen bases since coming to the St. Louis, so that shows you how much Tony cares about that. And having seen him play in Toronto I can tell you he is not a great base runner anyway. He has had bat problems too, hitting just .157 since the trade. What is Patterson good for? He can catch a ball. Most of the time...

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Starting Rotation

We continue our reacquaintance with the St. Louis Cardinals, this time taking a look at the starting rotation.

The St. Louis Post Dispatch is reporting that Tony La Russa's chosen starters for the NLDS against the Philadelphia Phillies will be Kyle Lohse, Edwin Jackson, and Chris Carpenter... in that order. Jaime Garcia will be saved for Game 4. Once again I cannot tell if La Russa is an insane genius or just insane. I'll call you back after the fourth game.


This is Kyle Lohse. Lohse pitched well in April and May, not at all well during the summer months, and sparkled in September. He may just be a mild weather kind of guy. This season Lohse was one of those few guys who actually pitched better on the road. He also did very well in his two appearances against the Phillies, holding them to 3 earned runs in 15 ⅓ innings, walking only 1 and striking out five. This may help to explain La Russa's decision to make him the Game 1 starter against Roy Halladay. It helps to explain, but does not fully explain.


This is Edwin Jackson. The son of a military cook, he was born in West Germany and can thus technically be referred to as a Bavarian. Jackson has played for five teams (if we don't count the two hours he belonged to Toronto) in the past four seasons and can thus also technically be referred to as a journeyman. In 2010 he threw a no-hitter, but it was a sloppy no-hitter as he walked eight batters and drilled another.

Jackson has only pitched against Philadelphia once. It didn't go too well.

(I didn't mean for Edwin's blurb to be so negative. His game should be an interesting one.)


This is Chris Carpenter (not to be confused with the Chicago Cubs rookie who is also a right-handed pitcher, also about the same physical size, and also shares the same first, middle, and last name). He is the "ace," at least until Adam Wainwright's arm is firmly reattached. Carpenter has the most experience of all the starters and even has one of those nifty Cy Young awards. His numbers were down this season, but he had a strong September. Carpenter is not a man you would expect to be laden with tattoos, but he is.

Carpenter pitched twice against the Phillies this season. In 15 innings he allowed only 1 run, walked two, and struck out 12. This is a very, very good thing.


This is Jaime Garcia (pronounced HY-may gar-SEE-ya). He was born in Reynosa, Mexico. He is the only left-hander in the starting rotation. 2010 was his first full season and he came third in Rookie Of The Year voting. His 2011 numbers were down a bit, and he threw 12 wild pitches (2nd-most in the NL), but his strikeout-to-walk ratio was much better. One day everything will click and there won't be anything you can do about it.

Garcia also did exceptionally well against the Phillies this season. In 15 innings he allowed only 1 earned run, walked 3, and struck out 9. The splits indicate Garcia is better at home than on the road and great after a ton of rest, and that may be why Tony is holding him until the series comes to St. Louis.


This is Jake Westbrook. His middle name is Cauthen. I don't know why his head seems so much bigger than everybody else's. Acquired from Cleveland in 2010 as part of a three-team trade the Cardinals are so fond of, Westbrook is an exceptionally good fielder. Pitching-wise, the second half of the season was better than the first, although he did bomb his last start.

And guess how he has done against Philadelphia this year. Fairly well! In 10 ⅓ innings he allowed only 2 earned runs (although he walked 8 and only struck out 2 -- yikes!).

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Coaches

The St. Louis Cardinals have spent most of the season flying below the radar. Then suddenly, BAM, they're in the playoffs. Since you wrote them off at the All-Star break it is therefore understandable if you've forgotten who's who or why we should care about particular players. So, to reacquaint yourself with the team, I've compiled this handy-dandy bare-bones Cardinals roster guide.

Today we will start with the coaches.


This is Tony La Russa. He's the manager. (Some people call managers "skippers." Those people are dumb.) Tony is known as a strategist. He will do silly things with his batting lineup, pull-and-push pitchers in-and-out of the game like yo-yos, and generally make you think he is suffering from advanced senility. But his team is in the playoffs now, so the joke is on you.

Other fun Tony facts:
- He really likes animals. He likes animals more than he likes most people.
- He missed a few games this season after coming down with a morbid case of face shingles.
- His post-game interviews are quite amusing, especially after a rough game. The Cardinals had a lot of rough games this year.


This is Dave Duncan. He is the Cardinals' pitching coach. He has been teaching pitchers how to pitch since forever ago. He is unnaturally good at it and can take virtually any old awful pitcher and shape them into something considerably less awful. (See Bob Welch and his 27 wins in 1990.) He has been Tony's right-hand man since the 1980's, and they will both probably be buried in the same casket together.


This is Mark McGwire. He is the hitting coach. As a player he once held the single-season home-run record. After he retired he became a steroid scapegoat, taking all the blame for the pervasiveness of "enhanced" play in baseball. As a result he brings a lot of baggage to the team, and nobody is really convinced that his hitting advice extends beyond saying "Just hit some dingers and you'll be fine," but they love him in St. Louis so it doesn't really matter.


This is Dave McKay. He is the first base coach. The first base coach is quite possibly the easiest on-field gig in baseball. He reminds his base runner to pay attention to the signs, and if the base runner forgets the signs then McKay just makes something up for him. McKay has been with La Russa since the mid-80s, doing whatever imperative coaching duties Tony lets him do. McKay is also Canadian, for whatever that's worth.

These four people, you might notice, were with each other in the Oakland Athletics' organization in the late-80s and early-90s, as well as the Cardinals' organization in the late-90s and, well, today. They all went to the World Series together in 1989. I'm sure it was fun, except for that whole earthquake thing.


Other Coaches


This is Jose Oquendo. Despite what his profile picture might imply, he does not eat children. He does coach third base where he waves his faster players to home plate, holds his slower players to third base, and yells at Yadier to just stay at first base for a while. Oquendo's claim to fame is that he played every position in 1988, including pitcher and catcher, and that is completely insane. La Russa did not manage that team, but I'm sure he wanted to.


This is Joe Pettini. He is the bench coach. I don't have any good idea as to what he actually does. Dave Duncan is usually the backup manager when Tony gets ejected, but I suppose it would be Pettini's time to shine if Duncan also gets ejected. I don't know that I've actually ever seen this man before.


This is Derek Lilliquist. He is the bullpen coach. When that bullpen phone rings, he freaking answers it. Then he says, "YOU there, start warming up," or "YOU there, sit back down." Sometimes he will even say, "YOU there, Tony wants you to pitch to two batters, then hit the showers."

Cutting It Close With The Cardinals

It's September 2nd. Only 24 (or so) more games left for each team, only 26 (or so) more days of regular season baseball remain. Playoff participants will be decided sooner than that.

Here's what the NL Central looks like:

	W	L	GB
CHC	85	53	---
MIL	80	57	4.5
STL	74	64	11.0
HOU	72	66	13.0
CIN	61	76	23.5
PIT	57	79	27.0

For most of the season the Birds have been right at the Cubs' heels. But recently it seems like whenever the Cardinals win, the Cubs win and no ground is gained. Then the Cards lose... and the Cubs continue to win. St. Louis was only two games back as recently as July 22nd, but since then the gap has grown wider. Now the team trails by 11 games and a division title is all but lost.

Of course there's always the Wild Card, but if the Cardinals continue to drop consecutive games (they lost their 4th straight last night... they had a five game losing streak in July) then they'll lose out to the Brewers, Mets, or Phillies. I've remained hopeful (but realistic) this entire season, and if the Cardinals make it into the playoffs it'll be close.

There's the 2006 season to draw inspiration from when, as you'll recall, the Redbirds made it into the postseason having won only 83 games and closed the year by defeating the Tigers in the World Series. Conditions favored the Cardinals that year (the NL Central was lousy and only the Mets provided any sort of competitive challenge), but it was enough to demonstrate that all teams start at 0-0 in the postseason, and anything could happen afterwards.

St. Louis really should be doing better at this point, but they can't seem to defeat the teams that matter. They're 37-24 against teams from the other two divisions, but 30-32 against their NL Central neighbors. The Cubs and Brewers on the other hand are 38-24 and 39-25, respectively. The Birds have also lost a lot of extra-inning games -- a Major League leading 10 -- and are 21-23 in 1-run games. All those winning opportunities, lost (so to speak).

But if the Mets are able to take late-season dives, and if the Cubs are famous for them, then so too can the Cardinals take a... what's the opposite of "dive"? And until St. Louis is mathematically eliminated I will remain hopeful and look forward to another postseason appearance.

Juan Gonzalez: Okay?

I'm interested to see how this Juan Gonzalez thing is going to work out.

The Cardinals generously decided to give Gonzalez another chance and signed him to a Minor League contract last month. In past years Gonzalez has attempted several "comebacks" with other teams, but injuries have prevented him from doing anything productive. His last Big League appearance came in 2005 -- one at-bat for Cleveland (he grounded out to third and effed up his hammy) -- and he's been hanging out in the Atlantic League and Puerto Rican League since then. Even those seasons were cut short due to injury. If you're a betting man, the odds of Gonzalez getting hurt and only playing a handful of games (be it at a major or minor league level) are somewhere around 1-to-1.

It's interesting that the Cardinals, a NL team, signed him. Due to his fragility it would seem best to make him strictly a DHer. Less opportunity to strain things. And, in fact, during these spring training games the Cards have used him in the DH spot. But since he's vying for an outfield role with the team he needs to, y'know, play outfield. And so it shall be done, as LaRussa has decided to no longer utilize the DH at all during pre-season games. I suppose if Gonzalez misses the final cut, yet still does respectfully enough in the minors, he could get called up for interleague games. But I don't know if the Birds will ever be that desperate. Anyway, we'll see if he can shag pop flies without tearing up vital leg muscles.

He is, by the way, doing alright at the plate so far. In 22 Spring Training at bats he's had six hits, five RBIs, a double and a homer. I'm a little concerned that he's only walked once, but these are exhibition games and none of this really matters anyway.

Despite his propensity for injuries, and despite being a chronic whiner, I hope he does well. Juan Gonzalez used to be the best, and I don't really like seeing people fall from glory (unless they really REALLY deserve it, but I usually reserve that judgement for tyrannical political despots). But more than that the Cardinals need their line-up filled in a bit more. Albert Pujols, Troy Glaus, and Chris Duncan (and even Rick Ankiel) can swing a heavy bat, but offensively the team is still thin. Obviously Gonzalez isn't going to hit 40 homers like he routinely used to, but any little offensive pop in the roster would be greatly appreciated.

wooo.

Cardinals beat the Pirates 16 - 4.
Can this count as a double victory?
No use splurging all that offense for one measily win.