Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Bullpen

This is the Cardinals bullpen. I feel like there are a lot more guys hiding in there somewhere but every other familiar name I double-checked now pitches for another team. At the beginning of the season there was a lot of criticism leveled at the bullpen (*cough*RyanFranklin*cough*) but, after considerable wheeling and dealing the Cardinals have put together a respectable group of pitchers.


This is Kyle McClellan. He was left off of the NLDS roster due to a recent bout of arm fatigue. He says he's fine, so maybe he will show up later if when the Cardinals advance. Just thought you should know.


This is Mitchell Boggs. Like a lot of guys in the Cardinals' bullpen he has experience starting games, finishing games, and showing up somewhere in the middle. The past four seasons his won-loss record has been 3-2, 2-3, 2-3, 2-3. This isn't relevant to anything, it's just a minor statistical oddity.


This is Mark Rzepczynski (pronounced zep-CHIN-skee). YES HE HAS A WEIRD NAME. There aren't many people named Mark anymore. A former starting pitcher in Toronto, the Jays converted him to the bullpen before trading him to the Cardinals halfway through the season. As a left-handed pitcher he is often brought in as a specialist for specific match-ups, although he has pitched as many as three innings in relief. Since coming to the Cardinals he has averaged 11.1 strikeouts per nine innings, which is quite good.


This is Octavio Dotel (rhymes with Hotel). He has played for 11 teams in the past 8 seasons, which either means he is not terribly desirable, or he is the king of one-year contracts, or it means he is an excellent bargaining chip. Since coming to the Cardinals mid-season from the Blue Jays (just like half the dang team) Dotel has pitched effectively and has been used recently as the eight inning set-up man.


This is Arthur Rhodes. He is old. He was playing Minor League baseball in 1988. In 2007 he underwent Tommy John surgery, so really he is only pitching with a four-year-old arm. A lefty specialist, he will only face one or two batters at a time, some of whom weren't even born when he signed his first contract. Rhodes has done well as opponents have only batted .207 against him since he came to St. Louis in August.


This is Fernando Salas. He was born in Huatabampo, Mexico, which is infinitely fun to say out loud. This is only his second season in the Majors and for a while the Cardinals used him as their regular closer. They never announced that he was THE closer, he just frequently found himself pitching the final inning of tight ballgames. Last month his role was less defined as he was brought in to pitch as early as the seventh inning. Regardless he is consistent, reliable, and Mexican.


This is Jason Motte. He is a relief pitcher. Less a pitcher, more a throw-the-living-crap-out-of-the-ball-er. As they'll remind you during every broadcast Motte was a former catcher. You can tell this in his delivery as it looks like he is trying to throw every pitch through a brick wall. Despite throwing the ball so violently he walks surprisingly few batters. Last month he was used as the closer despite the fact that, again, the Cardinals never announced an official closer. He was simply their guy who finished close games.

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Infielders

Game 1 against the Philadelphia Phillies started off promising enough (three runs off of Roy Halladay? Holy cow!) but a bad inning, followed by a bad inning, followed by a bad inning put the victory out of reach. But with Halladay out of the way, the Cardinals can look forward in Game 2 to beating up on... Cliff Lee? Aw, nuts.

Let's look at the Cardinals' infield. Apart from Albert Pujols and, to some extent, Yadier Molina, the regular infielders are quite anonymous outside of St. Louis. Tony LaRussa is always shuffling them around anyway, so how are we supposed to keep track? Here are the guys you should at least make an effort to remember.

This is Albert Pujols (pronounced POO-holes, tee-hee). He plays first base, except for those weird seven games when he played third. Despite having the worst offensive season in his Major League career, he still led the team in home runs, hits, RBIs, runs, and total bases, among other things. Pujols is so dominating with his bat people forget he is also an excellent fielder and a smart baserunner (his stolen base success rate is always surprisingly high despite the fact he is not at all fast-legged). In 57 post-season games (including last night's Game 1) Pujols is batting .322 with 13 home runs and 37 walks, 12 of them intentional, so as this series progresses expect some Pujolsian damage.


This is Skip Schumaker. You could probably figure out everything you needed to know about him by simply looking at his name. Scrappy player under 6ft tall? No home run power, .290 career average? Check, check and check. In addition to competently fielding his second base position Skip can also be seen playing the outfield when Tony LaRussa gets a case of the late-inning switcharoos. Fun fact: Earlier this year Tony had him pitch (with permission, I'm sure) the last inning of a blowout game. Of the five batters he faced, he struck out two. He also walked a batter and gave up a homer. There is no reason to think Tony won't try this again next season.


This is Ryan Theriot (like "stereo," but without the letter S). He also plays second base. Theriot was actually the regular starting shortstop until Rafael Furcal was acquired in July. Since then he's been platooning with Skip and filling the position for the late innings. Theriot has also shown himself to be an effective pinch hitter.


This is Rafael Furcal. The Cards picked him up from the Dodgers in a mid-season trade. Although he is a little error prone, Furcal has great range and a cannon arm. He missed the final two games of the regular season with a hamstring injury but felt well enough to start Game 1 last night. After singling in his first at-bat the announcers said his base running could be hindered by the injury. Then he went ahead and stole second.


This is David Freese. He splits third base time with Daniel Descalso (which unintendedly sounds like some sort of innuendo). The Cardinals acquired him before the 2008 season by trading away an old broken Jim Edmonds to San Diego. Freese is a good hitter... and this concludes all I know about David Freese.


This is Daniel Descalso. He is a utility infielder playing his first full season in the Majors. Although not a regular starter, his versatility has allowed him to appear in 148 of the Cardinals' 162 games. He is always around, but you forget about him later.


This is Yadier Molina. He is the catcher, one of the best in the Major Leagues. Although he as always been regarded as an excellent fielder, the 2011 season was his best offensively. Usually regarded as a relatively quiet guy, this year Yadier got himself some tough tattoos and then later spat on an umpire. If this new scary Yadier continues to improve his hitting then I'm all for the radical image change. It is important to note that Molina is a post-season stud, batting .313 in 33 games and always there for the critical hit.

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Outfielders

Tony La Russa switched up his starting pitchers again. We still have Kyle Lohse starting Game 1, but now Chris Carpenter is starting Game 2 on three days rest. He has never pitched on anything less than four days rest. SCARY. Jaime Garcia will start Game 3, and Edwin Jackson is bumped to Game 4. It wouldn't surprise me if this all changes fifteen minutes before game time.

Now lets talk about the outfield. Ten different people at one point or another started a game in Tony's outfield this season, so you'll be forgiven if you can't recall everybody. They look so tiny out there anyway. Here are the need-to-know names and faces.


This is Matt Holliday. Apparently his nickname is "Big Daddy," which disturbs me more than a little bit. He is the left fielder, and every once in a while he has trouble catching baseballs lined directly at him. He more or less lost Game 2 of the 2009 NLDS all by himself when he attempted to field a line drive with his crotch, so hopefully there will be some sort of Matt Holliday redemption story this go-round. As ineffective as he can sometimes be in the field, he more than makes up for it with his bat. Holliday can hit for average, maintains a good on-base percentage, and is always a home run threat. However, he currently has a bum finger and will miss Game 1.


This is Jon Jay. He has, as far as I can tell, the shortest name in baseball history (right up there with Mel Ott). Raise your hand if you knew Jay played in 159 of the Cardinals' 162 games, more than anybody else. Now put your hand down because I can't actually see you. Yes, Jay weaseled his way into nearly every game by starting a few games here, pinch hitting there, replacing Lance Berkman over yonder, etc. Following the Colby Rasmus trade in July, Jay became the regular center fielder. He's reliable, he's durable, he's young (only his second MLB season), and the kids love him.


This is Lance Berkman. His nicknames are, and I'm not making this up, "Big Puma" and "Fat Elvis." After a disappointing 2010 season a lot of people decided that Berkman was old and broken. Eyebrows were raised when the Cards signed him during the off season, and eyebrows were raised even higher when it was announced he would play the outfield (something he hadn't done since 2007). He managed not to tear up his leg muscles in the field, and surprised everybody at the plate by becoming one the Cardinals' best offensive producers. He led the team in OBP, SLG, and (by extension) OPS.


This is Allen Craig. In only his second Major League season he has been surprisingly effective with the bat. As far as fielding goes he can play nearly every position, infield and out. He's usually been used to fill in for injuries or guys taking a day off or late-inning outfield substitutions. If he keeps performing this well he will have a regular starting gig someday.


This is Corey Patterson. He came over from the Blue Jays in that super deal in July that sent everybody everywhere. About the only thing going for him right now are his speedy legs, but he has zero stolen bases since coming to the St. Louis, so that shows you how much Tony cares about that. And having seen him play in Toronto I can tell you he is not a great base runner anyway. He has had bat problems too, hitting just .157 since the trade. What is Patterson good for? He can catch a ball. Most of the time...

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Starting Rotation

We continue our reacquaintance with the St. Louis Cardinals, this time taking a look at the starting rotation.

The St. Louis Post Dispatch is reporting that Tony La Russa's chosen starters for the NLDS against the Philadelphia Phillies will be Kyle Lohse, Edwin Jackson, and Chris Carpenter... in that order. Jaime Garcia will be saved for Game 4. Once again I cannot tell if La Russa is an insane genius or just insane. I'll call you back after the fourth game.


This is Kyle Lohse. Lohse pitched well in April and May, not at all well during the summer months, and sparkled in September. He may just be a mild weather kind of guy. This season Lohse was one of those few guys who actually pitched better on the road. He also did very well in his two appearances against the Phillies, holding them to 3 earned runs in 15 ⅓ innings, walking only 1 and striking out five. This may help to explain La Russa's decision to make him the Game 1 starter against Roy Halladay. It helps to explain, but does not fully explain.


This is Edwin Jackson. The son of a military cook, he was born in West Germany and can thus technically be referred to as a Bavarian. Jackson has played for five teams (if we don't count the two hours he belonged to Toronto) in the past four seasons and can thus also technically be referred to as a journeyman. In 2010 he threw a no-hitter, but it was a sloppy no-hitter as he walked eight batters and drilled another.

Jackson has only pitched against Philadelphia once. It didn't go too well.

(I didn't mean for Edwin's blurb to be so negative. His game should be an interesting one.)


This is Chris Carpenter (not to be confused with the Chicago Cubs rookie who is also a right-handed pitcher, also about the same physical size, and also shares the same first, middle, and last name). He is the "ace," at least until Adam Wainwright's arm is firmly reattached. Carpenter has the most experience of all the starters and even has one of those nifty Cy Young awards. His numbers were down this season, but he had a strong September. Carpenter is not a man you would expect to be laden with tattoos, but he is.

Carpenter pitched twice against the Phillies this season. In 15 innings he allowed only 1 run, walked two, and struck out 12. This is a very, very good thing.


This is Jaime Garcia (pronounced HY-may gar-SEE-ya). He was born in Reynosa, Mexico. He is the only left-hander in the starting rotation. 2010 was his first full season and he came third in Rookie Of The Year voting. His 2011 numbers were down a bit, and he threw 12 wild pitches (2nd-most in the NL), but his strikeout-to-walk ratio was much better. One day everything will click and there won't be anything you can do about it.

Garcia also did exceptionally well against the Phillies this season. In 15 innings he allowed only 1 earned run, walked 3, and struck out 9. The splits indicate Garcia is better at home than on the road and great after a ton of rest, and that may be why Tony is holding him until the series comes to St. Louis.


This is Jake Westbrook. His middle name is Cauthen. I don't know why his head seems so much bigger than everybody else's. Acquired from Cleveland in 2010 as part of a three-team trade the Cardinals are so fond of, Westbrook is an exceptionally good fielder. Pitching-wise, the second half of the season was better than the first, although he did bomb his last start.

And guess how he has done against Philadelphia this year. Fairly well! In 10 ⅓ innings he allowed only 2 earned runs (although he walked 8 and only struck out 2 -- yikes!).

Introducing Your 2011 Playoff Cardinals: Coaches

The St. Louis Cardinals have spent most of the season flying below the radar. Then suddenly, BAM, they're in the playoffs. Since you wrote them off at the All-Star break it is therefore understandable if you've forgotten who's who or why we should care about particular players. So, to reacquaint yourself with the team, I've compiled this handy-dandy bare-bones Cardinals roster guide.

Today we will start with the coaches.


This is Tony La Russa. He's the manager. (Some people call managers "skippers." Those people are dumb.) Tony is known as a strategist. He will do silly things with his batting lineup, pull-and-push pitchers in-and-out of the game like yo-yos, and generally make you think he is suffering from advanced senility. But his team is in the playoffs now, so the joke is on you.

Other fun Tony facts:
- He really likes animals. He likes animals more than he likes most people.
- He missed a few games this season after coming down with a morbid case of face shingles.
- His post-game interviews are quite amusing, especially after a rough game. The Cardinals had a lot of rough games this year.


This is Dave Duncan. He is the Cardinals' pitching coach. He has been teaching pitchers how to pitch since forever ago. He is unnaturally good at it and can take virtually any old awful pitcher and shape them into something considerably less awful. (See Bob Welch and his 27 wins in 1990.) He has been Tony's right-hand man since the 1980's, and they will both probably be buried in the same casket together.


This is Mark McGwire. He is the hitting coach. As a player he once held the single-season home-run record. After he retired he became a steroid scapegoat, taking all the blame for the pervasiveness of "enhanced" play in baseball. As a result he brings a lot of baggage to the team, and nobody is really convinced that his hitting advice extends beyond saying "Just hit some dingers and you'll be fine," but they love him in St. Louis so it doesn't really matter.


This is Dave McKay. He is the first base coach. The first base coach is quite possibly the easiest on-field gig in baseball. He reminds his base runner to pay attention to the signs, and if the base runner forgets the signs then McKay just makes something up for him. McKay has been with La Russa since the mid-80s, doing whatever imperative coaching duties Tony lets him do. McKay is also Canadian, for whatever that's worth.

These four people, you might notice, were with each other in the Oakland Athletics' organization in the late-80s and early-90s, as well as the Cardinals' organization in the late-90s and, well, today. They all went to the World Series together in 1989. I'm sure it was fun, except for that whole earthquake thing.


Other Coaches


This is Jose Oquendo. Despite what his profile picture might imply, he does not eat children. He does coach third base where he waves his faster players to home plate, holds his slower players to third base, and yells at Yadier to just stay at first base for a while. Oquendo's claim to fame is that he played every position in 1988, including pitcher and catcher, and that is completely insane. La Russa did not manage that team, but I'm sure he wanted to.


This is Joe Pettini. He is the bench coach. I don't have any good idea as to what he actually does. Dave Duncan is usually the backup manager when Tony gets ejected, but I suppose it would be Pettini's time to shine if Duncan also gets ejected. I don't know that I've actually ever seen this man before.


This is Derek Lilliquist. He is the bullpen coach. When that bullpen phone rings, he freaking answers it. Then he says, "YOU there, start warming up," or "YOU there, sit back down." Sometimes he will even say, "YOU there, Tony wants you to pitch to two batters, then hit the showers."

Mariners: Just A Bit Outside

The Mariners did a very interesting and bizarre thing yesterday. Actually, the Marlins did most of the work and the M's happily capitalized. But, just to be clear, scoring what would become the winning run on an attempted intentional walk doesn't happen all that often. Nearly never.

The play again, until MLB makes me take it down for some reason.


First of all, I love it when an intentional walk (or at least an attempted one) backfires. The IBB may be strategically and statistically sound, but it's also lazy and boring. And it is so very gratifying when the next batter hits a home run. It is infinitely more gratifying when the pitcher can't even hit his catcher.

And that brings me to this sub-thought: you'd be inclined to think that somebody receiving yearly paychecks worth more than the average human earns in a lifetime FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THROWING A BALL would, in fact, be able to throw a ball. But something happens when pitchers leave their comfort zones. When they're on the mound, in their stretch, in their windup, in their delivery, they are locked in. But when they have to throw it to a base, or even when they have to soft-toss it to their catcher, they're a little bit out of their element. Most guys can keep their crap together. But sometimes, every once in a while, HILARITY ENSUES.

An odd thing about this particular oddity, had Seattle batted last in the inning instead of first, the ballgame would have instantly ended. This was Seattle's ballpark. Seattle should have batted second. I'm sure there was a reason why everybody pretended this was a Marlins home game, but I wasn't paying attention. So the Marlins actually had a chance to redeem themselves. They didn't, of course. Although there was some Florida vindication in the fact that the hitter, Carlos Paguero, struck out once the intentional walk was deemed unnecessary.

My favorite thing about this incident -- about the video, really -- is angry frustrated curmudgeonly cussy Jack McKeon at the :24 second mark. At 80-years-old McKeon is the second-oldest manager in MLB history (Connie Mack managed until he was 88, but he also owned the team, so he could do whatever he wanted as old as he wanted to). McKeon is OLD BEANS, and his team falls apart sometimes, and he behaves exactly like the salty dog he is. Maybe I'm just too easily amused by the elderly.

For the record, Jack McKeon could probably beat me up.

I've seen this happen before, where a pitcher tries to intentionally walk a batter and ends up throwing the ball into outer space, and subsequently loses the game. I recall seeing it happen in some sort of college game that occurred a few years ago. But it's rare. Cherish the absurdity. And don't expect to see it happen again tomorrow. Although this is baseball, and the same thing could be happening right now as we speak.

Shoot, I'm missing baseball, aren't I?

Mariners: KG,J

In the late-80s baseball cards were crappy. Pictures were fuzzy, prints were off-center, the material was cheap, and even though you got a stick of gum in a pack (the taste of which went bad after about .000002 seconds) that stick of gum would often put a pink rectangular stain right across Rickey Henderson's cardboard face. But people didn't know any better. This was it as far as baseball cards were concerned. They were cheap to produce and the kids still bought 'em. And besides that, the Topps company was king of the card market. There were other smaller competitors like Donruss and Fleer, but Topps had been the top dog for so long that nobody could even attempt to dethrone them. Crappy cards, it appeared, were here to stay.

But in 1989 a new company called Upper Deck produced its inaugural set of baseball cards. The cards were glossy, the images were crisp, and -- holy smokies -- there were holographic stamps on the back! Other company's baseball cards looked (and actually were) cheap by comparison. Things would never be the same. Within a few years everybody would mimic Upper Deck's standards and image. Card quality, along with card costs, would rise.

Upper Deck needed somebody special to be the #1 card of that game-changing 1989 set. He had to be good at baseball, naturally, but he also needed to be young. These weren't your grandpappy's ball cards. Mr. Number One also needed to represent the future and a new era of sports.

Taking a big gamble, they chose a ballplayer who had yet to play a single Major League inning. They chose a ballplayer who, for his picture, was still wearing a Minor League uniform. They chose a teenager, a talented kid with a talented pedigree.

They chose a smiling, confident, gold-chain wearing Ken Griffey, Jr.



This was probably the best gamble in the history of gambles. That year in 1989 he broke into the big leagues and finished 3rd in the Rookie Of The Year voting. The next season he won the first of his ten Gold Glove awards and was voted into the first of his 13 All-Star games. The year after that he won the first of his seven Silver Slugger awards. Thanks in part to Griffey's success, Upper Deck had established itself as the premier card company. Griffey, meanwhile, had established himself not only as the new face of the Mariners, but as the new face of baseball.

Early on Junior was garnering comparisons to his father who, through a rare confluence of age and talent, was still playing Major League baseball. Senior had been a good consistent hitter since the early 1970s, a significant member of the Big Red Machine of the late 70s, and the MVP of the 1980 All-Star game. In August of 1990, Dad Griffey signed with the Seattle Mariners and joined his son in the outfield.



This situation was as bizarre as it was celebrated. There they were, father and son, playing outfield for the Mariners together. Nothing like this had ever happened before. It was simultaneously weird and awesome. They were having fun together (Junior always looked like he was having fun anyway), jostling each other and being good sports for the media. They posed for odd pictures. Sometimes Junior would steal a pop-fly his father was set to catch. They once even hit back-to-back home runs. It was like watching the end of Field Of Dreams every single day.

Dad retired in 1991, but Junior was still rising, exceeding all expectations anybody ever had of him. He was a great and graceful fielder, swift and agile, but it was nothing compared to his hitting.

Ken Griffey, Jr. had the smoothest, easiest, most natural-looking swing of any player I've seen. If God Himself was Junior's hitting coach it couldn't have looked any better. His mechanics appeared so easy to replicate that anybody could have been duped into thinking they had a big league swing. And it was impossible to fathom how that gliding swing could send a baseball 450 feet away. It was the perfect swing, and Griffey brought it with him every time he came to the plate.



With his stellar play, good looks, killer smile, and great marketability, by the mid-1990s Griffey had become a superstar. He had Nike endorsements, Wheaties, Nintendo games, Simpsons cameos, and prevented the Twins from going to the playoffs in Little Big League. In 1995 he took the Mariners to their first ever American League Championship Series appearance.

He was also hitting home runs at an accelerated rate. The 1994 season was shortened due to the players' strike and a wrist injury cut his 1995 season in half (he smashed his gloved hand into the outfield wall while making a successful leaping catch), but even so between 1993 and 2000 Griffey averaged 44 home runs a season, or a home run every 11.88 at-bats. Before he turned 30 years-old people were already speculating when he would break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record.

Before the 2000 season Griffey was traded to the Cincinnati Reds for four players. His numbers were down a little bit that season (hitting .271 with "only" 40 home runs and "only" 118 RBIs), but it would be the last great Griffey-esque Major League season he would ever have. Seattle fans were sad to see him go as the Kid had been the face of the franchise for the past decade, but after the 2000 season the M's would acquire an aggressive and nimble outfielder from the Orix Blue Waves. If anybody could make Seattle forget about Junior, it would be Ichiro.

Despite enjoying a relatively healthy career up to this point, Griffey suddenly and inexplicably became injury prone. It was as if Griffey's kryptonite was Ohio water, and every time he took a shower he ended up on the disabled list.
- In 2001 he missed 45 games after injuring his left hamstring.
- In 2002 he missed 41 games after injuring his knee, missed about 30 games after injuring his right hamstring, and missed a smattering of other games due to injured hips and thighs and legs.
- In 2003 he missed 33 games due to a shoulder injury and missed the final 68 games of the season due to an injured right ankle.
- In 2004 he missed 71 total games due to his injured right hamstring.
- In 2005 he missed the final 26 games of the season due to a foot injury (though he was still named the Comeback Player of the Year).
- In 2006 he missed 26 games due to an injury to his right knee.

His injuries became a running joke. It was virtually expected that Ken Griffey, Jr. would miss at least a quarter of the season due to a strained or broken somethingrather. My favorite lick came from The Dugout, a cussy webcomic that pretends baseball players use AOL chatrooms. Griffey's screen name was Elijah_Price.

Griffey, when healthy, was still productive, but the all-time home run record became an impossibility. All that remained were smaller personal milestones, the finishing touches upon a Hall of Fame career.

2007 was a resurgent year for Griffey. Despite missing games due to a chest injury, a groin injury, the flu, and something called pleurisy, he still played 144 games, hit 30 home runs, batted a semi-respectable .277, and was voted into his final All-Star Game.

A quick note about that 2007 All-Star game --
Still with Cincinnatti and representing the National League, Griffey had two RBIs in that game. However his Seattle replacement, Ichiro Suzuki, stole the show with an inside-the-park home run, the first in All-Star history. Griffey, once the embodiment of the future of baseball, was now overshadowed by the next generation of stars.*

[*A disclaimer, and really just a quick mention about how peculiar Ichiro really is. Even though it seems Ichiro can play forever, the man is only four years younger than Griffey. He came to the Majors at the age of 27, which would normally qualify him for "late bloomer" status were it not for the fact he spent his formidable years conquering Japanese baseball. Anyway, Ichiro will get his own entry soon enough.]

2008 turned out to be a season of footnotes as Griffey became the sixth player to hit 600 career home runs. It wasn't 755, but it would do. Later that year he was traded by the Reds -- along with some cash -- to the White Sox for two non-stars. It was strange to see him in a Chicago jersey, as if he were merely playing those games in nice pajamas. It was a forgettable 41-game stint and he was granted free agency at the end of the season.



Griffey was on his last legs, and Seattle did a very nice thing by signing him for the 2009 season. He had made the franchise relevant in the 1990s, and even if he played a limited role in those final years signing Griffey was the least the team could do.

However his return turned out to be more sad than dignified. The Kid, now a father himself, was clearly older now. His slender frame had been replaced with a pudgier one. The speed that made him a Gold Glove outfielder was gone. The coordination and quickness that made him one of the most feared hitters in baseball, also gone. All that remained were his name, his image, and that sweet swing. For some people that was enough, relying on their decade-old memories to fill in the blank spots. But for a team trying to compete it was not enough. Griffey spent an increasing amount of time riding the bench, pinch-hitting here and there, a symbol more than an active player.

Then one day in 2010, completely out of the blue, he called it a day. That was it. The Major League career of Ken Griffey, Jr. was over.

Even though the disappointing latter half of Griffey's career is still fresh in our minds, when he becomes eligible for the Hall of Fame in four years it won't be the injuries or the frustration or the White Sox uniform we remember. It will be the swing, the style, and the hundreds of home runs. We'll remember the toothy teenager on the front of Upper Deck card #1. We'll remember Junior -- The Kid -- and how he changed the game twenty years ago.

Mariners: Getting To Know David Pauley

I just added David Pauley to my fantasy baseball team.

I know absolutely nothing about him.
Let's discover Mr. Pauley... together!

A couple days ago one of my relief pitchers (who will remain unnamed -- you never know who's reading these things) went on the disabled list. He was the black sheep on my otherwise stellar pitching staff, so I was looking for any excuse to dump him. An upper back strain rendered him completely useless (a step down from his "mostly" useless status when he was healthy) and I dropped him like a Christmas goose.

I chose to replace him with David Pauley for a couple reasons. First of all, when I drop a player I like to replace him with somebody who fields the same position. It maintains the balance of the universe, or something. Secondly, Pauley's at-a-glance stats are extraordinary.

ERA = 0.94
WHIP = 0.76
24 strikeouts in 38 1/3 innings (not bad)
4 wins

Four wins is unique for a middle reliever at this point in the season. Starting pitchers usually accumulate those wins. There are various statistical circumstances that would negate this, but without looking at specific game summaries it seems likely that Pauley was the last pitcher on the mound four times when his team took the lead late in a ballgame. This doesn't actually mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of baseball, just a slight abnormality. I don't expect Pauley to finish the season with ten wins.

A quick note on WHIP, by the way:
Walks + Hits,
divide it all by Innings Pitched.
It's a good indicator of how well a pitcher keeps guys off of base. A WHIP around 1.00 is very good. At 0.76 Pauley is only allowing one baserunner every other inning or so. Granted, he's only in each game for one or two innings... but still!

So opening up our handy-dandy Baseball-Reference.com profile, what do we find?

- Up until this season Pauley had been groomed to be a starting pitcher. For ten professional seasons he was starting baseball games. I don't know why, but it never appeared to work out. Somebody somewhere decided before this season began that, hey, maybe he should be pitching at the end of the game instead of at the beginning. It turns out he works very well in frequent short inning-long spurts rather than periodic multi-inning starts.

- Opponents are only batting .167 against Pauley. More surprising, opponents' slugging percentage is only .183. Slugging percentage reflects how often batters his doubles, triples, and home runs. So far this season Pauley has given up zero home runs, zero triples, and only two doubles.

- That WHIP thing we were talking about, prior to this season his lowest WHIP was 1.18. That was five seasons ago back in AA where the batters will swing at absolutely anything (and miss). The question then becomes this: can he sustain this new found ability to keep runners off the bases, or will he regress back to his old statistical standards?

- Additionally, Pauley has been the beneficiary of good luck. Even when batters do put the ball in play, they're still only batting .204. Normally this number is significantly higher (last season, for example, it was .262) but it seems Seattle's fielders have been in the right place at the right time... at least while Pauley is on the mound.

- Apparently Pauley is making $422,000 this season. That may seem like a lot of money (and it is, at least compared to my bi-weekly paycheck), but the way he's performing it's an absolute bargain.

- David Pauley's middle name is Wayne.

- He looks slightly toasted in all of his head shots.

I've mentioned Seattle closer Brandon League's inconsistency before. If League should fall apart before David Aardsma's return then there is a good chance the Mariners would go with Pauley to finish off ballgames.

That is, as long as Pauley keeps doing his thing. There's that pesky invisible force called regression, and the bullpen is a new role for Pauley. It wouldn't surprise me to see him slide the second half of the season, but for now it appears he has finally found his niche.

Mariners: Closers & Brandon League

Every team wants a solid pitcher to finish the game. There needs to be a man to slam the door on the other team's offense in that final inning of play. If his team has a slight lead in the ninth inning, he is expected to preserve that lead. The man to do it is called The Closer.

The Closer is an uncharacteristically severe term in a sport that, as pointed out by George Carlin, is full of kinder, gentler nomenclatures. It's finality in a game defined by its open-ended perimeter and un-timed play.

And so with that in mind it sort of makes sense that closers themselves are an uncharacteristic bunch. Some guys are weirder than others. Some are outright eccentrics. Baseball is full of them. Rollie Fingers and his twirly mustache. Dennis Eckersley and his side-armed cheese. Dan Quisenberry and his submarined junk. Antonio Alfonseca and his twelve fingers. Ugueth Urbina, who is currently in a Venezuelan prison for taking a machete to farm workers before dousing them in gasoline. Endearing bunch of scamps, they all are.

And while eccentricities keep things interesting, it's dominance that's truly matters. A closer who can successfully seal the deal 30+ times a season is a valuable commodity. When Mariano Rivera enters the game, even before he records his three outs, everybody knows the Yankees just won. It's that automatic.

[As an aside, the broadest and most common way to measure a closer's effectiveness is the Saves statistic. A save is credited to a closing pitcher when he satisfies a very specific and somewhat arbitrarily defined set of circumstances. It's a poor measure of the pitcher's ability as it's dependent on several other variables. Poor fielding, which the pitcher has no control over, can blow a save opportunity. Or if his team sucks a closer might never get a good save opportunity to begin with. Conversely, even a poor pitcher can accumulate a substantial amount of saves if he pitches every night.]

The Mariners have had few eccentric closers in their history and even fewer dominant ones. The closest thing they've had to a consistent lights-out closer was JJ Putz. For two seasons -- 2006 and 2007 -- Putz was among the best American League closers. He had an off year in 2008 as he was sidelined a month due to injury, and during the off-season Seattle traded him away in a convoluted three-team deal that ultimately gave the Mariners very little in return. JJ Putz eventually regained his effectiveness and is now once again dominating the closer role, this time in Arizona.

Following the departure of Putz, Seattle's last effective closer was David Aardsma, who incidentally appears first in the Major League Baseball Encyclopedia (this is a tremendous trivia factoid). Aardsma was a very good closer in 2009 and a moderately good closer in 2010. He is currently recovering from elbow and hip problems and has yet to make a Major League appearance in 2011. The Mariners are still banking on him to return to the team later in the season, but they've had to use a filler in the meantime, and that brings us to...



Brandon League, Seattle's current closer.

I remember Brandon League from his Jays days, but since Seattle acquired him I haven't been able to keep tabs on the guy. This could be a good thing as he's always mildly irritated me.

His literal slack-jawedness bugs me. As he squints through his goggles to get the sign from the catcher his mouth will hang open. It doesn't effect my opinion of him as a person and it likely has no bearing on his pitching ability, but CLOSE YOUR DANG MOUTH.

More than that, though, at least as a member of the Toronto Blue Jays, I was always bugged by how often Brandon League screwed things up.

Apparently there were high hopes for League as he was to be the Blue Jays' future closer. Unfortunately for him he was never given many chances to close games for Toronto, mostly because he proved to be tremendously inconsistent. His season-to-season stats vary wildly, and even game-to-game his effectiveness was never a sure thing. It didn't help that he often had trouble throwing strikes. Consequently, by the end of his Toronto tenure, he was used primarily as a set-up man, the guy who sets the table for the closer.

I'll also mention that he got frustrated very easily. You could see it. Some pitchers control their frustration and get themselves out of a rough inning. League channeled his frustration into more frustration, throwing too wild, throwing too straight, making life difficult for himself.

After the 2009 season the Jays traded League and a minor leaguer to Seattle for Brandon Morrow, then also a closer-in-training. Morrow converted to a starting pitcher halfway through the '09 season and that is the role he continues today with Toronto.

Brandon League still had to prove himself with Seattle so in '10 he was once again relegated to the set-up role in front of Aardsma. League did moderately well, striking out twice as many batters as he walked and keeping his ERA at a respectable 3.42.

But then, as I mentioned before, Aardsma's body fell apart and rather than acquiring a quick-fix, the Mariners opted to use League as their closer, at least until Aardsma returned. And there he remains, slack-jawed, goggle-eyed, and in the role that's been denied him his whole Major League career.

I don't have much to go on besides his numbers, but he seems to be doing an adequate enough job. League has only walked four guys in 28 innings of work, which is actually quite impressive, especially for him. He also currently leads the league in saves. Batters are only batting .238 against him. These are all good things.

Something I would worry about are the number of games he's appeared in. League has made an appearance in nearly half of Seattle's games (and in fact leads the American League in games finished). He's proven the past two seasons that he can endure the heavy workload, but he's never done so in the high pressure closing role. There is always the burn-out risk, although if a healthy Aardsma gets his job back that will be a non-issue.

Another thing to watch out for is his moderately high ERA. Good closers keep their ERA under 4.00. The best keep it under 3.00. As of today League's is 4.18. League (and/or his teammates) are allowing late inning runs to score, and this will always come back to bite.

Also, there's that frustration thing. If he keeps his shiz together he should be okay. If not, pray for Aardsma.

Mariners: Introduction

I'm looking at the Mariners' roster and I see a lot of potential. Not future positive potential, but past potential that was never met. I see names like Brandon League, Chone Figgins, Jamey Wright, Jack Cust, Milton effing Bradley... guys who've shown flashes of brilliance in the past, but have since performed disappointingly once significant time and money was spent investing in them. These are guys the team picks up, hoping/gambling for that break-out season that would prove that lofty contract was actually a shrewd move. This is a game the Kansas City Royals have played for years. It's unproductive and terribly annoying.

There are, however, authentic glimmers of light this season. There is always Ichiro. Sweet, sweet Ichiro. Felix Hernandez is coming off of a Cy Young Award-winning season. Some guy named Justin Smoak is being deceptively productive. The pitching staff as a whole has been surprisingly effective.

And yet it would surprise nobody if Seattle finished in the bottom half of the AL West. The AL West, by the way, is a historically crappy division. And, historically, its forgotten cellar is where the Mariners belong.

My personal connection to the M's is tenuous at best. The franchise itself is only five years older than I am, and while I spent my early youth in the American mid-west, the Mariners invisibly trudged through the 1980s, hidden from me by their consistently awful performances and cast way over in the upper left-hand corner of the United States. For a while I wasn't even convinced they were a Major League team. What was a "Mariner" to a seven-year-old anyway?

But then, of course, Ken Griffey, Jr. came along, and while they team played only marginally better for the next half-decade, Junior made the team relevant to aspiring ballplayers like myself.

Then, almost all at once, they became contenders and even developed a peculiar rivalry with the New York Yankees, a favorite team of mine.

And then came Ichiro. Ichiro, my goodness. His singular name alone is like an untranslatable word that describes grace and finesse and suaveness and gazelles and hot Asian sex.

But as Ichiro ages I wonder if the team and it's character will wither away, or will the Mariners move towards another decade of prominence and relevance on the shoulders of guys like Smoak and King Felix.

2009 Blue Jays Home Opener

I may make attending Blue Jay season openers an annual tradition. The tickets are relatively inexpensive, the crowd is fun, and something interesting tends to happen. Last year's opener versus the Red Sox was wrought with bleacher melees and semi-nude streakers. Did Boston bring their over-testosteroned fans, or are Jays fans just as insane? I was able to find out as I compared and contrasted the '08 opener with the '09 opener when Toronto hosted Detroit and their more sedate supporters.

The Tigers line-up. In lights!

Last year I arrived at the game early enough to witness the pre-game ceremonies. It featured Roberto Alomar and a couple other names from the days of yore. Names were added to the "Level of Excellence" and everybody showered everybody else with polite applause. Unfortunately I missed all of that this year as work and bad traffic prevented me from getting to the Rogers Centre until about 15 minutes before the first pitch. I suppose that's good timing if I wasn't interested in sitting through all the pomp, but it would have been interesting to see if Kelly Gruber or whoever was left from the 92/93 Jays would make an appearance and a speech.

Whatever. I was there to watch baseball anyway.

I was optimistic for the Jays success that night because Roy Halladay was pitching. Halladay (whose real name is Harry Leroy, I just learned) won 20 games for the sub-par Blue Jays last season and came in second for the Cy Young Award. Everybody was confident that Doc would shut things down.

Justin Verlander, who historically has not fared well during the month of April, started the game for Detroit.

The Rogers Centre center-field

Halladay was solid, not allowing a hit until the 4th inning. For Verlander, though, it was a different story.

Verlander got two quick outs in the 1st inning, then allowed a walk, then a double, then a single (coupled with an E9), then hit a batsman, then another double. Four Toronto runs would score that inning, but they weren't through yet.

The Tigers scratched back with a Curtis Granderson solo home run in the top of the 4th, but Travis Snider of the Blue Jays (who will be a Rookie of the Year contender this season) responded with a solo shot of his own. Marco Scutaro immediately tripled and scored on a sacrifice fly. After Verlander allowed a double and a walk he was pulled for reliever Eddie Bonine. It didn't help as Adam Lind hit a three-run homer to center-field.

At this point the Jays were winning 9-1. Halladay was cruising until the 7th inning when, inexplicably, he fell apart. Carlos Guillen hit an RBI double. Gerald Laird followed that up with an RBI single. Brandon Inge followed that up with a two-run homer. Four quick runs, and Halladay was noticeably agitated. Halladay finished the inning, but probably because nobody had even been throwing in the bullpen until that point.

Over 48,000 in attendance

In the meantime alcohol was taking effect in the 500s. The 500 level is the upper tier of the dome. It's the cheapies, and it's taken on the reputation recently of being party seats. Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of fun up there. There's a lot of good-natured ribbing, a lot of odd goofiness. I just wouldn't ever take children up there during a busy night. Opening night is a busy night x10.

At first there were just a couple paper airplanes, but then the paper airplane phenomenon caught on throughout the rest of the stadium, and eventually everybody was trying to see if their plane could coast all the way to the field. This wasn't initially a big problem because it's hard to glide a drunkenly made paper airplane one-or-two hundred feet.

There was also a lot of Tiger baiting. There were some heated arguments and some spilt/sloshed/tossed beer, but I didn't see any fists fly.

More and more planes were making it onto the playing field, and finally, in the bottom of the 8th, two baseballs were thrown at (or near) left-fielder Josh Anderson. Somebody also chucked a golf ball or two (who brings golf balls to a baseball game anyway?... unless it was one of those expensive souvenir balls, in which case the ball tosser was stupider than I thought). Tiger manager Jim Leyland called his players off the field and we all sat for eight minutes while security took the field. No announcement was made. More planes hit the field and the crowd applauded. No announcement. The umpires and managers conferred near home plate. No announcement. Finally the crew chief pointed at the PA booth, and finally an announcement was made to please refrain from negatively interfering with the game by tossing foreign objects onto the playing surface thank you. Bang, players back on the field, game resumed. They could have made the announcement ten minutes prior, but maybe they were waiting for a super special moment. Maybe the PA guy was just taking a leak.

The empty field with five or six security personnel keeping watch

ANYWAY, just before Leyland hit the pause button, the Jays had tacked on three more runs. The Tigers couldn't do anything in the ninth inning as Brian Tallet and his '80s 'stache (saving up for the throwback nights, I'm sure) induced the final three outs.

Afterward a lot was made of the delay of game. Nobody should have thrown baseballs or golf balls or anything onto the field. It is dangerous, rude, and annoys thousands of people. On the other hand, nothing was being done to prevent it. Security was useless, and an announcement to please stop was made only after the umpire told somebody to make the dang announcement. Usually that sort of thing is done when it become evident that people are trying to hit the field/players with whatever objects they have on them. And an announcement may have been all that Jim Leyland wanted anyway as he allowed his players to return to the field immediately after one was made.

It was a distraction, and it is too bad because the Jays crushed the Tigers by a final score of 12-5. When I mention the game to people all they ask about is the delay. They don't ask how Halladay looked, or about Snider's good game (2 for 4 with a home run and a double) or about Lind's great game (4 for 5 with six RBIs and seven total bases).

Umpires conferring.

And as far as whether or not Jays fans create all the trouble... oh yeah, it is definitely us. Boston fans and Yankee fans may contribute when they are in town, and Detroit has a fairly strong base in Southern Ontario, but it was definitely the homies goading the out-of-townies, and it was the homies who got liquored up and didn't know when to stop. It is okay to an extent. I'd rather have a rabid (literally, even) fan base than an uncaring and silent one. And again, the stadium's personnel did little to quell the disruption. But there are lines, and you may toe them, but know when you've crossed them.

By the way, no alcohol was served at the dome the following day. For incidents unrelated to opening day, the Alcohol and Gaming Comission of Ontario suspended the Rogers Centre from serving beer on three particular dates: April 7th, April 21st, and a Toronto Argos CFL game on August 1st. Canadians love to abuse alcohol, I guess.

Regardless, I had a lot of fun at the home opener and am happy that another baseball season has finally arrived. I also look forward to the other eventful/eventless games I'll see at the Rogers Centre this year.

Speaking of the season, that Brandon Inge homer was the first of three consecutive homer-hitting games. Game number four is in progress. We'll see if he finishes the year with 162 dingers this year.

2009 Baseball Opener Live Blog

Welcome, everybody, to a live blogging of the 2009 MLB season opener between the Atlanta Braves and the Philly Phillies.

Those new to the live blogging concept, here's what's up:
Hit the refresh button every couple of minutes for semi-live updates of the game. You're probably better off just watching the game, but those of you who choose to watch and read at the same time... you're crazy.

Also, it's common practice to read a live blog for a minute or two, then go do something else far more productive.

8:04
Oh boy, Jon Miller, Joe Morgan, AND Steve Phillips. Don't be sad, one out of three ain't bad.

8:05
I'm eating a couple homemade wraps as well. Rice, beans, corn, salsa, in a flimsy tortilla, TIMES TWO, while I frantically type and monitor two monitors... this may end badly.

8:09
I'm realizing to my horror that I only recognize half of the Braves starting line-up. I don't know if that's my fault or the team's.

TOP 1st

FIRST PITCH OF 2009... ball one. Brett Myers pitching.
And zappo, two quick outs. It's not even worth mentioning how those outs came about. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.
Chipper Jones, A RECOGNIZABLE NAME, just gophered it to left field. HOLY COW FIRST BASEHIT OF 2009!!!11!!

8:15
Brian McCann McCRUSHED the ball over the right field wall. FIRST TWO RUN HOMER-ROOSKI OF 2009!!!

2-0 Braves

Garrett Anderson, who is no Angel, cannot adequately follow up and grounds out. THIRD OUT OF 2009!!!

BOTTOM 1st
8:18
I'm finding the Phillies line-up to be quite likable. If the Phillies line-up could be embodied into one single human being, I think we could be friends. Except for the Brett Myers portion of that human being. But I guess we all need armpits.

Derek Lowe pitching. Expect lots of jokes about the pitch being LOW(e).
Jimmy Rollins grounds out. From now on whenever somebody grounds out I'm just going to tap the underscore key, like so: _
A pop out by Werth. Pop outs, like so: ^
I'm going to change the face of scorecards.

8:23
Chase Utley hits it deeeep... Francoeur near the right field wall... caught, quite routinely actually.

FIRST COMPLETED INNING OF 2009!!!1!!@

TOP 2nd
8:26
Welcome back to... ohFrancoeurjusthomered.
3-0 Braves.
Yeah, it was that quick.
Kotchman strikes out. FIRST BLAH BLAH BLAH 2009.
Ah, the Major League debut of Jordan Schafer. He looks like he's 12-years-old.
...
Bite me in the pants, the fresh meat just homered in his first ever at-bat.
Joe Morgan: (calmly) "Well, that is an oddity."
Steve Phillips: (inanely) "(Babbling)"

4-0 Braves

8:31
Pitcher vs. pitcher/batter matchup. I will take this time to put one of my wraps back together.
[doing so]
And I'm back. Strikeout? Yep.

Kelly Johnson at bat for a second time. Pops... I mean, ^
Three outs. Moving on.

BOTTOM 2nd

8:36
Ryan "homerun or strikeout" Howard at the bat.
Big swings.
Big strikeout.

If you're interested in reading any prior live blogs, by the way, I've got a couple more HERE.

Ibanez, grounds, out, to the shortstop. Dos down.
Victorino also grounds out, but the shortstop had to reach across so it was slightly more interesting. Really.

That was a quick half-inning. SLOW DOWN GUYS. CALL TIME OUT AND STUFF.

TOP 3rd
8:42

Escobar Esco-bashed the Esco-ball to center, missing a home run by a few feet. He's on second with a double.

Now pitching for Philadelphia, the Liberty Bell.

8:43
The ticker at the bottom of the screen just said "LeBron drops 38". ESPN, World-Wide Leader in hip verbage.

Chipper Jones down on strikes.
McCann up hoping to re-homer. Instead he pops out in foul territory. That's, like, doubly useless.

Garrett Anderson, _ to first. Three down. No damage that inning, and the Braves consecutive innings scored streak for 2009 is over.

BOTTOM 3rd
Pedro Feliz at bat. In Spanish his name translates to Pedro Happy. Sort of. I'm sure there are accent marks to deal with.
Whatever, he pops out and has legally changed his name to Pedro un-Feliz.

uh,
Carlos Ruiz popped it down the right field line. Foul territory. Francoeur telling the world that he's got it. Does not got it.
Ruiz goes down the other line and ends up on second because of fan interference. DO NOT TOUCH THE BALL. AREN'T THERE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE FRONT ROW SEATS??

Myers grounds out, does not advance runner.

Rollins up. Joe Morgan loooves him some Jimmy Rollins. I mean, I like Jimmy Rollins, but I'm not IN like with Jimmy Rollins.

He flies out to left. This relationship is over.

TOP 4th

8:57
Francoeur at bat once again. He's been quite involved in this game already, and that frustrates me because I can't ever spell his name correctly on the first try.
He lines out sharply to Rollins at short. They're still talking about Francoeur's batting stance even though he's not at bat any more.

Joe Morgan is talking about siting a rifle. A chill went down my spine.

9:00
Kotchman grounds out.

Jordan Schafer, we're being told, is only the 99th player to hit a home run in his first at bat. And now he singles in his second ever at bat. That's right, kid, it's all downhill from here.

Lowe flies out. Three outs. New inning. More commercials.

BOTTOM 4th

9:05
Hey, it's Terry Pendleton. He's being interviewed while wearing one of those huge traffic controller headsets. PAY ATTENTION TO THE PLANES, TERRY.

Jayson Werth at bat. His parents clearly could not spell. It's wOrth. Duh.
Grounds out, though Kotchman at first had to dig the throw out of the dirt.

Utley scoots it down near first... Kotchman dives, makes a good throw to Lowe covering at first. Good play. Good out.

Ryan Howard up. The infield is all shifted over, and it pays off as the shortstop Escobar, pretending to be a second baseman, picks up the grounder and makes the out.

1-2-3.

TOP 5th

9:11
The pitching coach's name is Rich Dubee? Well... okay. I'll sidestep the obvious joke and ask if he has some brothers.

I think Myers has finally got his stuff together. He strikes Johnson out, gets Escobar to ground out, and issues zero balls over the wall.

(cough)

Chipper Jones just ground-rule-doubled over the wall.

9:15
McCann at McBat, Jonesy at second, two down... three down, strikes out. Braves are starting to strand runners. IT'S HARDER TO SCORE WHEN YOU DON'T HIT IT 450 FEET, ISN'T IT?

BOTTOM 5th

9:18
The score, by the way, is still 4 to 0, Braves.

Ibanez grounds. Out. One down.
Shane Victorino, wanting to be the Victor-rino (I will pun you to death), taking his hacks. Missed that last one. Strikeout number two for Lowe.

Is it a conflict of interest for them to air Lowes commercials while Lowe is pitching?

Pedro Feliz returning to the plate. I'm voting for Pedro.

Somebody named Taschner is warming up in the Philly bullpen. Is he coming in to relieve the Braves pitcher?

Lowe strikes out Feliz for strikeout number three and for the third out in the inning. Follow?

9:25
At some point I'm going to have to take out the garbage. I'll also have to use the bathroom. Where's the pause button?

TOP 6th

Philly Phanatic, making me uncomfortable in that wig.

Garret Anderson shot it back to the pitcher, off Myers glove, the ball dribbled over to nobody, Anderson safe at first. I kinda like infield singles.

Francoouueur grounds it hard down the 3rd base line, Feliz picks it up (barely) and gets him out at first, advancing the runner to second.

Kotchman grounds out too, Anderson advances again. MOVE THOSE RUNNERS. Joe Morgan is probably wetting himself.

Ohgoodgrief, they're walking the wonderboy. I guess he DOES have a lifetime batting average of 1.000 and an on-base percentage of AWHOLEBUNCH.

SO, runners on the corners, two outs, and Lowe is about to screw everything up again.
UNLESS Brett Myers can screw things up first. Full count.
Strike three.
Out three.
No damage.
Just the mental damage
of seeing the Philly Phanatic in a wig
thrusting his/its crotch.

BOTTOM 6th
Carlos the catcher, grounds to short. Jon Miller says there's been lots of ground balls. It's how they keep the grass so short.

Taschner, still warming up. He's probably quite toasty by now.

Lou Dobbs... no, GREG Dobbs, pinch hitting for Myers, hits one deeeep to right. Francoeuerer on the track... makes the catch. We're way past due for another home run.

Jimmy Rollins singles up the middle. Only the second hit for the Phils. Lowe is cruising.

9:40
A Mike Boddicker reference! My night is complete.

The Ticker says that Alex Rodriguez feels "70%". A 70% Rodriguez... what is that? .280, 25 home runs?

Werth hits it back up the middle, Lowe does some sort of ballerina leap to snag it in mid-air.
Three outs.

TOP 7th

9:45
I just took out the garbage. It was smelling quite unholy. It still smells unholy, but at least now it's at the bottom of a garbage chute.

Taschner pitching. Gets King Kelly Johnson to ground out to second.
Taschner pitching. Gets Escobar to ground out to second.
Taschner pitching. Gets Chipper Jones to... strike out. (ha! got you!)

Jack Taschner, keeping things unremarkable.

BOTTOM 7th

9:57
Ack, I was in the bathroom and missed the first two outs. I was anticipating the 7th inning stretch to be more substantial.

Ibanez... grounds out. I'm sure the other two guys grounded out too. We all ground out sometime.

Lowe only threw six pitches that inning. He is the Sir.

TOP 8th

10:00
Scott "Jane" Eyre now pitching for Philadelphia. He's kind of spazzy, but only when he's not actually throwing the ball.

McCann at the McPlate, McStrikes McOut (it never grows old!)

Wait, they've already postponed the Royals-White Sox game? But it's tomorrow. Can they do that?

Garret Anderson flies out to left. Two down.

Score still 4-0, Braves.

Charlie Manuel, being the match maker he is, is bringing in a new pitcher. Time to gather myself a beverage.

10:07
New pitcher Chad Durbin strikes out old batter Francoeur. Well, that was easy.

BOTTOM 8th

Phillies are six outs away from losing their first game in over five months.

Victorino not helping things by dribbling it back to the pitcher. It didn't even make it to the pitcher. Lowe had to come off the mound and meet the ball halfway. Throw to first, one out.

Miller, Morgan, and Phillips have been arguing over pitch semantics for, like, three innings.

Pedro Feliz, strike out. Two down. I think Lowe is getting better the longer he pitches. And Jon Miller just insinuated the same thing. We may share a brain.

Ruiz, ground out. Eight pitch inning. On to the 9th (inning, that is).

TOP 9th

10:14
Phillies closer Brad Lidge now, ah, closing for the Phillies. He will be if the Phils don't pick up at least four in the bottom half of the inning.

Kotchman. Ground out. Man.

Joe Morgan mentioned that Lidge didn't do so well when he was with the Astros. I like to think Albert Pujols had something to do with that.

Jordan Schafer, my new favorite player at bat.
Strikes out.
I hate him.

Greg Norton pinch hitting, pinch pop flies to left. Three outs.

BOTTOM 9th

This has been a very fast game. It looks like it'll wrap up well under the three hour mark.

Mike Gonzalez closing it out for the Braves.
Good gravy, is that how he pitches?
It sucks because Eric Bruntlett (who happens to look exactly like a Bruntlett) doubles down the line.

10:24
Jimmy Rollins sac flies Bruntlett to third. The Phillies may score yet.

I've been way inconsistent with these time-stamps.

Jayson Werth singles sharply to left. Bruntlett scores. In about two minutes Gonzalez has already given up the same amount of hits as Lowe did in 8 innings and allowed more runs (1) to score.

Chase Utley, with one big swing, could bring the Phillies to within one. Put on your dopey rally caps!

Utley walks. Lowe didn't walk anybody. Why can't Gonzalez be more like Lowe?

10:28
Situation: 4-1, Braves lead. Phillies have runners at first and second. One out.
Ryan Howard and his pulverizin' bat at the plate.
Full count.

Is Gonzalez going to do this every game?

Strike three. Lookin'. You can't look a homerun.

Two down.

10:30
Ibanez, trying not to be the final out. That's so embarrassing.
Full count AGAIN.
Strike three.

The end.

That got kind of exciting at the end. That's why they pay Gonzalez the big bucks.

Final score: Braves 4, Phillies 1.
Take THAT for winning the World Series.

Thanks for hangin' out. We'll have to do this again sometime. Not often, but occasionally. On special occasions.

The Jays have their home opener tomorrow night. I'd live blog that one too except that I'll actually BE there, and I can't text that quickly.

Happy new baseball year!

Maybe I'll get through the whole season this time

I'm bringing the beast back to life.
New season, new blog posts.

Tonight, 8pm Eastern, be here.
I'm live blogging the season opener between the Braves and the Phillies.
You know what's more fun than watching TV?
Watching TV AND typing frantically on the computer about what's on TV.

Cutting It Close With The Cardinals

It's September 2nd. Only 24 (or so) more games left for each team, only 26 (or so) more days of regular season baseball remain. Playoff participants will be decided sooner than that.

Here's what the NL Central looks like:

	W	L	GB
CHC	85	53	---
MIL	80	57	4.5
STL	74	64	11.0
HOU	72	66	13.0
CIN	61	76	23.5
PIT	57	79	27.0

For most of the season the Birds have been right at the Cubs' heels. But recently it seems like whenever the Cardinals win, the Cubs win and no ground is gained. Then the Cards lose... and the Cubs continue to win. St. Louis was only two games back as recently as July 22nd, but since then the gap has grown wider. Now the team trails by 11 games and a division title is all but lost.

Of course there's always the Wild Card, but if the Cardinals continue to drop consecutive games (they lost their 4th straight last night... they had a five game losing streak in July) then they'll lose out to the Brewers, Mets, or Phillies. I've remained hopeful (but realistic) this entire season, and if the Cardinals make it into the playoffs it'll be close.

There's the 2006 season to draw inspiration from when, as you'll recall, the Redbirds made it into the postseason having won only 83 games and closed the year by defeating the Tigers in the World Series. Conditions favored the Cardinals that year (the NL Central was lousy and only the Mets provided any sort of competitive challenge), but it was enough to demonstrate that all teams start at 0-0 in the postseason, and anything could happen afterwards.

St. Louis really should be doing better at this point, but they can't seem to defeat the teams that matter. They're 37-24 against teams from the other two divisions, but 30-32 against their NL Central neighbors. The Cubs and Brewers on the other hand are 38-24 and 39-25, respectively. The Birds have also lost a lot of extra-inning games -- a Major League leading 10 -- and are 21-23 in 1-run games. All those winning opportunities, lost (so to speak).

But if the Mets are able to take late-season dives, and if the Cubs are famous for them, then so too can the Cardinals take a... what's the opposite of "dive"? And until St. Louis is mathematically eliminated I will remain hopeful and look forward to another postseason appearance.

Google Custom Search

You may have noticed the Google Custom Search thing to the right. You may have wondered if it was different than any other kind of search, Google or otherwise. Here's the scoop:

If you're anything like me you'll be reading an article and come across something that you want to know more about, either to fact check or for mere curiosity's sake. Let's say you're halfway through one of my posts and suddenly you want to look up information for, I don't know, Ron Karkovice. Pop 'er in the custom search and it'll open up a new window (so you won't lose your place in the original post) full of legit search results. "Ron Karkovice" yields results from Baseball-Reference.com and Wikipedia and all those good relevant sites.

But say you want information on pitcher Matt Smith. Holy cow, there must be a zillion different Matt Smiths populating the internet! Put him in the search anyway. Pow... Wikipedia, MLB.com, The Baseball Cube, etc. The search has been tweaked to yield baseball-pertinent results.

Type in "pants" and you'll get BASEBALL pants. Smooth, eh?

Play around with it, use it as a research tool, do whatever.

That's Mean: Fun With Regressions

I just noticed something, though this has probably been common knowledge for months. At press time (my living room doubles as a high-volume press room for daily periodicals, don't you know) the Texas Rangers have the best run support in the AL, averaging 5.63 runs per game. But they have the worst pitching/defense, allowing 5.91 runs per game and committing 100 errors so far (leading the league in both categories). They're currently four games above .500 and trailing the Los Angeles Angels by 11.5 games, good for second in the AL West. Bill James' Pythagorean expectation formula, which describes how "lucky" a team is, puts the Rangers six games under .500 and in theoretical third place. They've gotten some good breaks, but if we're to believe in "regression to the mean" then the Rangers will slide a bit before the season ends.

As I type this the Rangers are tied with the Yankees 5-5 in the 9th inning. I predict the Rangers will end up losing to the Yanks by a score of 5.63 to 5.91.

Interestingly, despite leading the Majors in errors, Texas also lead the Majors in turned double plays. The only explanation for this I can come up with is that the team's pitchers must be putting lots of men on base and lots of balls in play (many of which happen to end up as tailor-made double play grounders).

What does all this mean? I don't know, just weird statistical anomalies I noticed.

In fact I was looking up information on how "unlucky" Blue Jays' pitcher Roy Halladay has been this season. During tonight's game against the Athletics (see the post date) things were going his way as he allowed only one run while the Jays put up six. But in Halladay's previous start he limited the Rays to only three runs, while the Jays supported him with... zero. In fact, seven times this season Halladay has allowed four runs or less and came away with a loss or no-decision.

Here's a telling stat. The Blue Jays' bats produce 4.28 runs per game (discounting tonight's game, which would actually bump it up to 4.33). When Halladay starts the team only gives him 3.79 runs per nine innings (again, discounting tonights game which, if my math is correct, would bump his support up to 4.01 runs per nine innings).

With an ERA now at 2.77 he's going to get a lot of wins, but he's also going to get a lot of undeserved losses, and his 13-8 won-loss record reflects that. I don't know how to Pythagorize a pitcher's record, but Halladay has the third-best ERA in the AL, second-best WHIP, second-best K-to-BB ratio, second-most strikeouts, tied for most shut-outs, and has the most complete games (by far). Somebody appearing at the top of those rankings should have more than 13 wins to his credit by this point. He definitely shouldn't have eight losses. But I suppose that's what happens when you pitch for a team fighting with Baltimore for last place.

And, as far as Cy Young Awards go, this may come back to hurt Halladay. Wins and losses, as we've just proved, are meaningless when it comes to a pitcher's talent. Obviously a good pitcher is more apt to win games, but it ultimately depends on his team's offense. Many voting members of the BWAA still think that a won-loss record is a good reflection of a pitcher's abilities. If Halladay ends up with a respectable 18-12 record, he's going to lose out to Cliff Lee who'll probably go 20-4. (It should be noted, however, that in many of Halladay's "second-best" stats Lee is the one in front of him, and if Lee does win the Cy Young Award then he probably does deserve it).

Pythagorasly speaking, Toronto has been "unlucky," especially while Roy Halladay has been on the mound. Expect the Blue Jays to perform better the remainder of the season (more a law-of-averages type thing, less a Cito Gaston type thing), and expect Halladay, if he continues to do his part, to have fewer losses and no-decisions.

Texas won, by the way, beating New York 9-5. So much for regressions.